


Dream On, Senator

by star_wars_drabbles



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ben's kind of a jerk, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Masturbation, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_wars_drabbles/pseuds/star_wars_drabbles
Summary: Ben Amidala is the up and coming senator in the New Republic; women and men alike love him. He has created the perfect life for himself, however this becomes disrupted by you, his assigned bodyguard to protect him from the looming threat of the First Order. Chapter 9 and 13 are NSFW





	1. Introductions

The story was everywhere; _First Order attacks Senator Amidala on route to Hosnian Prime, some casualties_. This was worrisome news, many loved Senator Amidala, coming out of nowhere and reclaiming the last name of his grandmother. He had been outspoken, his quick wit and cold words working to pass many laws. His face was plastered all over the news, along with people’s reactions and despair.

Even though the young Senator was perfectly fine, people were shocked by the possibility that any harm could come to him, and in fact many people didn’t think that something like that was possible. The public didn’t know who orchestrated the attack, as behind the scenes many were in disagreement over the cause, and many didn’t take it very seriously, _no one died_ being their justification.

However, this gave Leia had a very bad feeling in her stomach. She knew that whatever it was, it was connected to the empire in some capacity, the evil that never seemed to die. She was concerned for Ben so she decided to contact her brother, contact was a loose term and generally Luke stayed of the public eye, fading into obscurity. She hoped that he would respond. She knew that he was straining a new generation of Jedi who may be able to shed some light on these suspicious activities. 

Leia wasn’t in contact with Ben either, who avoided her as much as possible; Ben had completely separated himself from his parental lineage, deflecting the damage with the Amidala name. His popularity gave him power, and with it came many enemies, Ben believed he could handle it. He didn’t even answer his mother’s concerned calls per exception a short message saying, “I’m fine”. Surrounded by fans and adorned with the finest clothing he should be untouchable.

“Senator Ben, you must’ve been so afraid! Oh your so brave to come in today,” Some of his fans said with airy voices. He smirked at them, taking one arm and placing it on their shoulders.

“Well why don’t I show you just how brave I am,” He says cockily. Ben was a notorious flirt, famous for his sexual prowess; he always seemed to have a new fan on his arm. People always surrounded him, yet few knew about his personal life and his past, which based on recent events, was probably a wise decision. If you passed by his office during late hours you would probably hear lots of moaning and thumping sounds, it was widely known yet no one spoke of it.

Meanwhile on some planet in the outer rim of the galaxy sits you, legs crossed and eyes closed as you meditate. Your mind is filled with peaceful imagery of flowing water; this quickly changes, everything turning red. Your eyes snap open and you gasp.

“Master Skywalker?” You ask.

“Yes Knight Y/N?” He responds.

“I sense that something terrible is going to happen, every time I try to meditate my peace is interrupted by a blinding red light,” You describe your problem.

“I sense something too, the dark side is growing, keep meditating and keep training,” He advises. You sigh in frustration; this isn’t the answer you wanted to hear.

“But what can I do? Besides the usual,” You say.

“Be patient Knight Y/N,” He chastises you. You respected your Master and his advice, but in your heart you felt as if you needed to do something, as if the force was calling you elsewhere. You leave to go train.

You had spent the past five years training with Luke, only recently gaining the title of Jedi Knight, even though it was abnormal according to Jedi tradition, you were a very strong student. Luke didn’t follow the old Jedi code perfectly, he tried to uphold their values and teach you how to follow the Light side of the force.

You weren’t there during the period where Ben Solo briefly trained to be a Jedi, the story, as you know is that he freaked out one day and left, deciding against training in the force. You used to wonder where he ended up, you wished him the best, even if it seems as the rest of the students held disdain for him. Lately you didn’t have time to dwell on this mystery, that nagging feeling in your chest taking up all of your attention.

Your distracted mind made training very difficult, as the force was tugging you elsewhere. You sigh and decide to look further into the direction that the force is pulling you towards. Concentrating, you see Luke’s private chambers and within them a flashing blinking light indicating a message. Sensing that Luke isn’t there, you try your best to sneak over there and find the message.

After careful movements you make your way to his chambers, eventually finding the flashing data pad. You go to play the message; surprisingly the data pad has no passcode. A video of Senator Organa begins to play.

“Luke, I need your help, my son has been attacked and I believe it has something to do with the Empire. I know you’re busy, but perhaps one of your students could help; this would be a great way to get some experience. I wait for your response.” The recording ends leaving you to make decision. Based on the way that Luke has been instructing you, you knew that he wouldn’t want you to go. Feeling a little rebellious and wanting to follow your instincts you decide to make a plan to get to Hosnian Prime.

Unbeknownst to you, Luke has allowed you to find this message, wanting to test your abilities in the force. He knew that you were ready to go out on your own, and as much as he wanted to protect you from the dark forces of the galaxy, you would have to see and learn about some things for yourself. He didn’t want his sister’s call to go unanswered.

You formulate a plan to sneak out to the best of your ability, narrowly missing being caught be a fellow padawan. You make it to an old X Wing, and to the best of your ability (which is not that great), you make it to Hosnian Prime, using the Jedi Mind trick a few times to make it past certain security. You wear normal civilian clothes, so as to appear less conspicuous, it was for the best.

“I’d like to see Senator Organa,” You say to a man that you find sitting at a desk, he seemed like the right person to ask.

“Do you know who I am?” The man asks rudely, almost offended at your question.

“No, I don’t. I’d just like to see Senator Organa, it’s important,” You repeat with more emphasis.

“I am Senator Amidala, now perhaps if you had been more polite I would’ve helped you, but I’m afraid I’ll have to kick you out. You’re lucky that you even get to speak to me, how did you get in here?” He inquires. You know that he’s telling the truth, but you don’t know if you should tell him why you’re here or not.

“I’m afraid that it’s none of your business,” You reply, unnerved by this Senator’s smugness. He frowns deeply at you and calls security. Before they arrive you try to escape, Ben observes you, surprised that you’ve remained so calm. Seemingly with a wave of the hand you make it past security, noting that your force sensitive Ben decides to deal with you himself.

You dash down a hallway, past other Senators and further away from Senator Amidala who you can sense following you. With luck you make it to a door with Senator Organa labeled on the outside, you quickly step inside and lock the door behind you.

“Senator Organa I’m here to help,” You say breathlessly.

“Oh, who are you?” A gold plated protocol droid answers you.

“I’m Y/N, I’m a Jedi Knight trained under Luke Skywalker, I’m here to help,” You reply. A women who you guess to be Senator Organa appears from behind a corner.

“Did you say Luke Skywalker?” She asks you.

“Yes, I saw your message, I wanted to help,” You say, Leia raises gives a nod and chuckles.

“Luke doesn’t know you’re here does he?” She questions.

“Uh, not exactly, please don’t tell him though. He wouldn’t let me help otherwise,” You say nervously. Suddenly a loud banging on the door interrupts your exchange.

“Oh no,” You say as the droid moves to open the door.

The man chasing you before bursts in pointing a finger accusingly at you.

“You! You shouldn’t be here, get out!” He yells at you angrily.

“Calm down Ben, she’s here to help, actually she will be working very closely with you from now on. You need someone to watch your back, you have too many enemies and not enough protection,” Leia says to her son. He glowers at that.

“There’s no way that I’ll work with here, besides I don’t need protection, and I don’t think that she could provide it anyways,” He says turning is nose up at you at the end. You roll your eyes.

“No fighting me on this one, either you have her as your bodyguard, or you take a very long vacation,” She says pointedly.

“No way, you can’t stop me,” He argues.

“If you don’t, I’ll make sure that your forced to stop being a Senator, there’s a lot of things that you’ve done that would tarnish your reputation,” She threatens.

“You wouldn’t,” He snarls back, angered by the audacity of this proposal.

“Try me,” She replies, testing his resolve. Ben stomps out of the room angrily, throwing a vase of flowers to the ground on his way out.

You watch with raised eyebrows and concerned eyes, just what had you gotten yourself into? Leia walks over and places an arm around you and gives you a gentle smile.

“Come on, we have a lot of work to do if we want to make this work.” She closes the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Day in the life of a self absorbed senator, hopefully he doesn't get himself killed just yet.

Blue skies, scattered clouds, a breeze rustling through the trees. Water trickling down and weaving through black rocks, all coming together to create a picture of peace. Everything goes quiet and your ears ring, red fills your vision making you forget every color to exist. This morning mediation started your day. 

Leia and you had spent a late night organizing all of the details necessary, formulating plans and discussing different possible scenarios. Leia was impressed by your skillset and previous accomplishments; you were more than qualified for this job, even if it seemed to be a difficult one. She tells you to get a good nights sleep, as you need to start as soon as possible. 

The next morning after your meditation you dress in your jedi garb, black leggings, a black tunic, and a black sash to secure your light saber to your side. You secure your hair and lace up your boots, preparing for the day ahead. Black would allow you to go by less noticed, to follow Ben like a shadow. 

You show up at the senator’s apartment, taking a deep breath in preparation of the day ahead. No matter what, you needed to do your best to keep calm and collected, to not let your emotions interfere with the force. You weren’t aware of Ben’s force sensitivity, hadn’t truly had the chance to get a good feel for him. Ben rarely used the force consciously, yet the force surrounded and flowed through him, even if he didn’t think of it often, it would always be with him. 

Senator Leia had insisted that you called her Leia, already she felt very protective and maternal towards you, in comparison to the energy of the senate, you were idealistic and optimistic, and it was refreshing to see. Leia had given you a key to Ben’s apartment, you didn’t know how she got it, as it didn’t seem like they were very close, Leia had her ways. Despite your suspicions, you went with it; you had a feeling this was connected somehow to your visions and you 

With the key that Leia gave you, you enter Ben’s apartment. Everything is dark, and you can sense his presence along with a few others. You knock on his bedroom door, no response. You knock again, this time louder. You hear some shuffling, Ben swings the door opens and scowls deeply, only to slam it right back in your face. Before that you observed two naked human women in his room, Ben was naked too but you didn’t really look at anything besides his face. You decide to give him a moment to get ready, even if you felt guilty for invading his privacy, you were just doing what Leia instructed you to do. 

This may not have been the best decision, as you begin †o hear loud moans and sex sounds coming from the room. You face palm and sigh, then knock on the door.

“Make it quick,” You barked out. The moans only seemed to get louder. Finally after what felt like hours of listening to some cheesy porno, two women step out, disheveled and smiling stupidly. Ben follows, smacking the butt of one of them and smirking, at least he’s wearing a robe. When his eyes turn to you they glower with contempt.

“Why are you here, I don’t need help,” He grumbles. You shake your head and plant your feet firmly; you’re here to stay.

“What do you want? Money, sex! Whatever it takes for you to go away I’ll do it and you have my word,” He promises. You become slightly flustered, offended at his offer, a Jedi has more dignity than that.

“I will not accept any offer, as I stated before, I’m here to help. You’re in more danger than you realize, Senator Amidala, something’s coming and you may be in the line of fire. I wouldn’t come all the way here for nothing,” You emphasized; you demanded to be taken seriously. Ben regards you for a moment, observing the light saber at your side, your stubborn stance, before coming to a decision.

“Fine, we’ll see how effective you are as a bodyguard, no guarantees that I’ll let you stick around,” He concedes, he didn’t want to see anyone else get hurt. 

“I need to get ready, order some breakfast or something, keep yourself busy,” He suggests. He goes back into his room, and you sigh in relief. This was proving to be a difficult job, and you hadn’t even begun to deal with any threats.

You passed the time by mediating some more, and reading up on current political events and news, trying to figure out who Ben’s enemies were. You would have to ask him yourself to get a clearer picture. It was hard to understand everything that was happening when you were so isolated from it all. Even so, your system wasn’t really apart of the New Republic and had little to do with the Empire except what would keep your leaders out of trouble. You had studied the history of the Empire yourself and were aware of the horrible atrocities committed by that authoritarian regime, but a part of you knew that this fight wasn’t over. It was as old as the force itself, the war between good and evil would never cease to wage on.

About a few hours later, Ben emerges from his room, hair perfectly styled, dressed in extravagant clothing, the senator is ready to work.

“Let’s go,” He orders you. You follow his swift pace out into a fancy speeder. You had a bad feeling about this.

Ben is a very reckless pilot, making sharp jerking turns, stopping at the last minute. It almost gives you an anxiety attack, you were not immune to reckless flying in the slightest, and in fact you didn’t really like flying all too much. Finally you arrived at your destination, Ben laughs at you as you almost lose your balance getting out, you glare back at him and he just laughs harder.

“Now I don’t want you to embarrass me, so don’t say anything, just do your job,” He lectured you. You just nod, fighting the urge to roll your eyes at him. 

Senators greet Ben, some with a cordial hello, others with a simple nod, and a few with nothing but their noses held up high. Some people even give you a double take; you take everyone into account, beginning to create a list of people to watch out for. One man walks up to Ben and puts a hand on his shoulder and you can tell by the brief flash of emotion on Ben’s face that this gesture is not welcome. The force tells you that something about this man is not to be trusted, and that his kindness is a façade. 

“Well Senator Gromon maybe if you spend more time working rather then reminiscing on the fallen Empire you would get something done,” Ben replies to him with a snarky tone. The man chuckles nervously before responding.

“You’re so cold Senator Amidala,” he jests. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think that you’re threatening me,” He says darkly. You raise your eyebrows, this was not the type of exchange you expected to here at the Senate; perhaps you should lower your expectations of the New Republic. 

“I am blackmailing you Gromon, so you’d be wise to keep your mouth shut.” Ben grins evilly, taking joy at the panic on the man’s face. Gromon, trying not to dwell on the threat, takes a moment to observe you, you look away but you can feel his eyes raking over your form and hear his lewd thoughts. With a wave of a hand you make him fall flat on his face.

“Let’s go Amidala.” You look at Ben, who is trying to suppress his laughter. He knew what you did, and it made him hate you a little less, this might not be so bad. The two of you walk briskly and with purpose to his office. 

“Ben, you can’t antagonize other Senators like that right now, I don’t need another threat to worry about,” You voice your concern.

“I can’t just stop being a politician because of one accident, in fact it just shows that my work is more needed than ever,” He counters.

“Sometimes you have o pick and chose your battles, fighting is rarely the answer,” You advise.

“Please, don’t give me any of that Jedi crap.” He rolls his eyes at you. He resented you because you were a Jedi, really after quitting training he wanted nothing to do with the Jedi or the Force, unfortunately that’s not how the force works. Just from your presence he was starting to become more aware of it again, the energy surrounding him, whispering to his ear. All of this only put him on edge, making him more irritable towards you.

“Actually that’s not necessarily a Jedi teaching, it’s something my mom used to tell me, its just good advice,” You retort.

“Whatever, either way I’m not ceasing my efforts, the Senate needs me,” He claims.

“You can continue for now, but it may come to a point where I deem it too much of a risk to your safety, I don’t believe that you’re as safe as you think,” You hint at something greater, but refrain from an explanation. Ben huffs, and silently goes to work. 

The rest of the day is filled with boring Senator duties, listening to messages concerning the silliest of matters, listening to Ben flirt and use cliché lines on people, and being sexiled. That man never seemed to stop and then he carried on as if nothing had happened. Later you went with him to an assembly, you were interested at first, but it quickly bored you. 

What you had learned was that there were two conflicting sides, Populists and Centralists. Ben, like his mother, was a populist, preferring system based governments over a centralized Republic. True to its name, the Centralists preferred a centralized government like the Empire, and you could detect that some of its proponents held sympathy for the former organization. This concerned you greatly; you had a feeling that this would set the tone for conflicts to come.

During all of it Ben keeps a strong composure, expressing little besides sarcasm, which few can detect. You can sense his anger and frustration over some of the opinions of the Centralists; to him it’s obvious that they’re wrong, that they’re stupid for not seeing what’s right in front of him. He’s full of himself, but you try not to judge, there might be something more than the mask that he dons as a Senator.

You join Ben for dinner in silence, which means that he stares you down while you eat, occasionally chastising you for your mannerisms. You don’t make conversation and keep to your thoughts, it’s somewhat overwhelming here and you’re trying your best to take everything in. 

“The sunset’s beautiful,” You say after a long silence. The pinks and blues that brushed through the sky brought you a sense of peace. Ben only shrugs apathetically, he has much more important things to worry about than the sunset. 

He leaves you to watch the sunset alone, and you don’t mind, his stare was starting to bother you anyways. So far you two hadn’t pulled each other’s hair out yet so you’d say the day was a successful one. With that, and with the peace of the sunset in your thoughts, you sleep dreamlessly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's rash decision leads him to trouble, leaving you to deal with it. Ben begins to see you in a different light.

“Good day Leia,” You greet cheerfully to the hologram. You were feeling well rested, and more importantly, Ben hadn’t been as annoying today. 

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure to talk with you as always, however I’m afraid I bring bad news, we traced back the attackers, but we could not get past their security. I don’t have any information for you,” She explains with a frown. Leia had access to military resources, with help from some of her friends from the days of the Rebellion.

“Leia, don’t worry, the force will lead us to the answer, just as it will allow me to protect your son from harm,” You console her. She smiles sadly, and laughs.

“I suppose you really are a Jedi, you sound just like my brother,” She pauses. “May the force be with you, Y/N,” She wishes you the best and ends the call. Yu were glad that the call was quick, because you noticed that Ben had left the apartment recently, hopefully you could catch up to him. 

Ben, noticing you busy with a call, decided to sneak out for dinner, he needed to get away from you. Just your presence, it was infuriating, you were such a Jedi and it disgusted him, he almost wanted you get angry with him or something, break that stupid façade that you always put up. You were probably just doing it to please Luke, to move up in your ranks, he didn’t trust you, but he had no choice but to deal with it. 

He had enemies sure, but Ben didn’t think that he was in immediate danger, in his bubble of socialites and fancy clothing; he had become naïve to the galaxy that surrounded him. His original intentions to uphold the democracy that his grandmother worked so hard to preserve had become lost in the fray to his own selfish desires. Still, he was arrogant, and this left him vulnerable.

Even through the crazy traffic of this system, you were able to track Ben to a fancy restaurant. He had a strong and noticeable force signature, that was easy for you to pick out in a sea of people. This time, you did not wear your Jedi robes; you had to be hidden so you dressed more as a civilian. You were not always a Jedi, so things like fashion were not unfamiliar to you, you pulled out fancier dress that you had brought to blend in with the people Ben tended to surround himself with. With painted lips and decorated eyes, you disguised your identity.

Ben was meeting another senator at La Salonnarde, a very popular restaurant that was reserved only for the rich and powerful. He needed a distraction, it hadn’t even been a day yet since he last relieved himself, but Ben was one horny bastard, and sometimes his dick would lead him to make unwise decisions. 

You entered the restaurant, without a reservation it would be difficult to get to Ben, but with a wave of the hand and a charming smile you were able to get a seat at the bar where you could watch over Ben. Hopefully nothing would happen that required you to intervene.

He noticed you when you walked in, yet he was unable to recognize that it was you. His eyes were drawn to your form, a black dress without a back that left his mind to wander. Everything about you looked so soft, he wished that he could take you home and make you writhe in his silk sheets. These thoughts were interrupted by the date in front of him, perhaps some other time. 

His eyes drifted to you again when his date left to the bathroom, noticing a scar that marred your skin. It only enticed him further; he wondered what type of woman you were to have a scar like this. He wished that you would turn so that he could see your face. The waiter brought him away from his thoughts, presenting food and refilling his diminishing glass of wine.

You were on high alert, which made you painfully aware of the thoughts of everyone around you, especially Ben, who seemed to be very interested in you, all of the sudden. Maybe your disguise had worked a little too effectively, you kept your focus. As the waiter began to refill Ben’s wine, you sensed danger, a sinister intent coming from the waiter. Quickly, you move to act, gliding across the floor, weaving through obstacles. You reach out into the force and make the wine glass fall, spilling all over Ben’s shirt and lap. 

“What the fuck!” Ben exclaims, glaring at the waiter.   
“Ben don’t eat anything and leave immediately,” You order. Ben is confused, and does nothing at first, who was this woman? 

“Listen to me dammit!” You yell in his face. You can’t wait around to see his response though, and chase after the waiter who seems to have disappeared in the crowd. He could hold important information on Ben’s attackers and you couldn’t let him get away, it was rash but you believed that Ben would be fine. 

Ben was in shock, at the probability that someone had tried to kill him, and that you were the woman that he had been ogling this entire evening. He decided to follow you, he wasn’t completely incompetent, and a part of him wanted to see you in action, he disregarded your orders. He watched as you dashed to catch up with the waiter, who had begun running, he wasn’t too far behind. 

Eventually you caught up to the waiter, he wasn’t very smart and had hurt his leg bumping into someone, or perhaps he was just very afraid. You tackle him to the ground with his arms bound behind him with the force. You drag him to the alleyway, using the force to wave the concern of witnesses.

“Whom are you working for?” You demand, pressing your foot hard unto the man’s back. Ben who has just caught up to you, is surprised at your actions, he never imagined that you could speak this way, it was cold and authoritative, kind of hot- no he should stray away from those thoughts. 

“I can’t tell you, I’ll be killed,” The man stutters out.   
“Whom are you working for?” You demand again, this time louder. The man begins sobbing, he’s weak willed and unable to handle you.

“I can’t say exactly, but they’re very powerful, someone here,” He cries out, now beginning to sob. You sigh and call Leia, you needed to keep this man detained as a future witness. You turn your attention to Ben.

“I told you to go home, why haven’t you listened! I’m trying to protect you and you’ve already almost gotten yourself killed.” You lecture him. Ben, still flabbergasted by the events of the evening is unable to reply with a witty retort, and just shrugs sheepishly at you. Ben would never admit it but he was thoroughly enjoying this side of you, slowly he was forgoing his original impressions of you. 

Someone who worked closely with Leia came to take the man away, which left you alone with Ben in the alleyway. 

“What am I going to do with you?” You sigh.

“I could think of a few things,” Ben replies darkly, eyes glittering, mouth forming into a malicious smirk. 

“I hope that it includes listening to me and not getting killed.” You roll your eyes at his shameless flirting, completely ignoring what he said. You weren’t oblivious, you knew what he was hinting at, but you were angry that Ben treated you differently just because you were wearing a dress, you felt like he didn’t respect you. 

“I didn’t realize that you could look so sexy Y/N,” He continues to flirt with you, wanting to ignore your rejection.

“I can look good in my Jedi robes, and I can look good in a dress, why do you think it’s appropriate to talk to me this way? Because I’m exposing more skin? You should respect me no matter what I wear,” You retort. This doesn’t really deter Ben’s attraction to you, but he respects you enough to not continue, even if it hurt his fragile ego. 

“Let’s go back,” He resigns. He moves to follow you to the restaurant, stopping himself from placing his hand on the small of your back. He felt slightly offended at your comment. You misunderstood him. It wasn’t the amount of clothing, but the meaning associated with it, Jedi robes had some unsavory implications. They reminded Ben of things that he’d rather forget. 

The ride back was tense, you had to leave your rented speeder behind at the restaurant to go with Ben, and you would have to keep a more careful eye on him from now on. 

“We’re going to have to leave this system, you need to lie low,” You speak after a long silence. 

“Okay,” He replies with a sigh.  
“Wait, you’re actually agreeing with me?” You question. He nods. “Good, we’re making progress,” You say. He doesn’t respond, just trying to collect his thoughts. 

Your words still bothered him, and he was having somewhat of an internal crisis. Your presence had already been a huge disruption in his life, and tonight, the combination of his possible death and your harsh rejection to the only way he knew how to deal with things hit him hard. He was coming to a decision; he would have to get rid of any feelings for you. Besides, he didn’t want to distract you from your work.

“Prepare to leave for a ‘vacation’ tomorrow, I will sort out all of the details, just get some rest,” You tell him. Ben doesn’t argue with this, deciding it would be better to interact with you as little as possible. You could tell something was bothering him, but tried to ignore some of the thoughts that would slip out for you to hear unintentionally, you didn’t want to invade his privacy. You believed that he would feel better with a good night’s sleep; it was understandable as his life had just been in danger. This was just the beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Ben head to the Outer Rim to lay low after last evening’s almost fatale catastrophe, turns out that things don’t get better from here.

“Oh no you can’t be serious, not Tattoine,” Ben groans.   
“I am serious, I’d like to put some distance between us and this system, and it’s where people go when they want to lay low.” You explain. He curses; maybe he shouldn’t have let you have so much control. 

Ben hated Tattoine; it was a desert planet, filled with sand a vast expanse of nothing. One time Han left him there when he was a kid, forgetting about him in the craziness of pod racing. He cringed reminiscing on the painful memory.

“Why can’t we go to a nicer system, when you said vacation this was not what I imagined,” He criticized.

“Stop your whining, it’s better to be safe then sorry,” You lecture. Ben glared at you, his complaints were perfectly reasonable, and you two could be relaxing on a beach far away. It would be safe as well, isolated; there was still a lot of criminal activity there in the outer rim. 

What Ben didn’t know was that you had family in Tattoine, a special attachment to the system, and it was one that you knew well. Although you hadn’t been in contact with them since you started your training, it was a home and it was safe. You fumbled with the control of the ship preparing to take off. You weren’t really the best pilot, being in control of a ship gave you a lot of anxiety, and Ben notices your shaking hands.

“Y/N, let me pilot, you can be my copilot you won’t have to do much,” Ben stops you, moving to exchange seats with you. 

“How can I know that you’ll take us to the right place, can I trust you?” You question his motives.

“Yes dear, don’t worry I won’t fly us into any suns or anything, just the system closest to one,” He replies sarcastically, mocking you a bit. He’s looming over you, waiting for you to get up, with a sigh you move to the copilot seat, you didn’t want to fly anyways so it was somewhat of a relief. Even if it wasn’t intended to be nice, you found Ben’s dry sense of humor amusing and in another sense it was familiar to the type of humor that you grew up with. No, you mustn’t dwell on the past; those feelings would only distract you.

“Y/N, I’m bored, tell me something about yourself,” Ben interrupts the quiet whirr of the ship.

“Umm, well I’m from a small system in the outer rim called Lyra,” You start, Ben urges you to continue. 

“Ben, as much as I’d like to give you my life story, now is not the time. I’ve been trying to meditate for the past hour and you keep on distracting me, I’m not here to entertain you.” Your words drip with sarcasm. 

“Ooh, ouch. I think I’ll take it as a compliment that I distract you, glad to know that all of your Jedi training didn’t make you completely numb to all this,” He replies, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and smirking at you. For what seems like the thousandth time, you roll your eyes at Ben and his ridiculous comment.

“Dream on, Senator,” You scoff. Ben really knew how to push your buttons, and although you couldn’t completely deny his attractiveness, but you had no time to waste with his antics, no time for such thoughts. Ben only chuckled at your remark, trying to laugh off the bloom of arousal that he felt. He couldn’t let that train of thought continue, not unless he wanted to drive himself mad but fuck were you hot. He couldn’t let himself feel this way for a Jedi. He was being pathetic. 

The journey continues in silence, until you finally reach Tattoine, the planet with a surprisingly stable binary star system. You direct Ben to land in a more desolate part, where you made your way to a small abode hidden amongst a rocky landscape. 

“We’re staying here? Couldn’t you fine something better?” Ben questions you, with a deep scowl etched into his face, disgusted at how primitive it looked. He was almost offended; he had better taste than this. Ben had become a bit spoiled from working in the Senate, drunk on power and luxury. 

“Don’t complain, many would be thankful to even have a home and you should be thankful to be alive,” You patronize him, he was being a brat, you wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to throw a tantrum next. 

“Now, you should get some rest. Later we’ll go to Mos Eisley and get something to eat,” You suggest to Ben, after showing him a room to sleep in. It may not be the safest place in the galaxy, but it was also perfect for lying low, and it would easy to not be noticed. 

Later, after you finally managed to convince Ben to change into more casual clothes, you made you way to the Cantina in an old rusty red speeder. You had just reached the outskirts of the settlement when you noticed something.

“Shit,” You cursed. This was not good. White armor glinted in the blinding sunlight, moving in synch, and it was everywhere.

“What is it?” Ben asks with a panicked voice, you rarely said things like that so it must mean something pretty bad. Then he noticed what you were staring at.

“Oh shit, I see what you mean, I knew we shouldn’t have come here. Why the fuck would there be storm troopers here?” He shouts.

“Ben keep your voice down!” You whisper. “They’ve spread more than I thought,” You murmur. 

“What do you mean they? And why are you still moving forward!” Ben whisper-yells. 

“Keep calm, I’ll explain as quickly as I can. The First Order, a military organization that basically wants to restore the Empire and destroy the New Republic. I’m not stopping because they’ve already noticed us and it would be suspicious to turn around,” You explain, trying to soothe Ben’s nerves. He grabs your hand as you approach a storm trooper. You stare at him with a quizzical look, not used to much physical contact, this felt strange.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Ben whispers worriedly, squeezing your hand tighter. Physical contact seemed natural for him to lessen his anxiety, and your hand felt so nice and warm in his own. 

“Present your identification,” A distorted voice commands. You give him a fake I.D. that Leia gave you a while back; you couldn’t risk anyone’s lives that were connected to your true identity. The trooper runs it through a machine, and stares at the result for a moment; you could tell that they found you suspicious.

“You may pass,” They usher you forward.

“Thanks, FN-2187,” You give your gratitude, thanking the force that you made it past this obstacle. 

Ben lets go of your hand, sighing in relief. He still wished that he was in a nicer system, he had the chance, and he should’ve taken it. You two could be lounging on a beach right about now, drinking fancy beverages. He wondered if you’d wear swimming garments or just your normal clothes, no stop thinking of that Ben, don’t imagine her in a bikini, he chastised himself.

You make it to the Cantina, and your senses are flooded by fast paced music, the smell of liquor, and the hum of voices. Good thing that there aren’t really any troopers here, they are generally not welcome by the folk who patron this type of place. 

Ben immediately sways on up to the bar, fully intent on getting trashed, he wanted to forget what had just happened. You sit beside him, unwilling to let him out of your direct line of site. He gives you a toothy grin, before downing a shot of some strong liquor. He offers you a drink, you only pretend to down the shot, as you se slight of hand to make it seem like you drank it all. You didn’t want drink on the job, but not doing so would warrant unnecessary suspicion. 

Everything seems fine for a while until you notice Ben suddenly stiffen up, disgust plainly shown in his frown. You follow his line of sight to see what he’s so upset about, an older man with a wookie? He looked familiar too. This was unusual. 

“Ben, whatever you’re thinking don’t do it,” You warn, there’s a strange look that flashes in his eyes before he turns to smile at you.

“I’m not going to do anything Y/N, don’t you worry,” He consoles you, but his smile and the rage that you can feel emanating off of him concerns you greatly. You search the force to guide you, this man had hurt Ben deeply – he was his father, and Ben wasn’t going to calm down anytime soon.

Ben whispers something to the man next to you, and chaos ensues once the man decides to punch you in the face. He misses, and you try to avoid a fight, but that choice is taken away from you when you suddenly become encircled by people chanting “Fight! Fight!” To back out now would mean being a coward, your pride made you swing a fist at the man, and you didn’t miss. 

Somehow in all of the yelling, you lose Ben, you only make it out just to see a glimpse of him driving off in the distance in your speeder. Your heart felt heavy, you had just let Ben go off somewhere who knows where and you could’ve stopped him. If he dies, this would be your fault. No, you couldn’t let that happen. He may be annoying, but he didn’t deserve that. He wasn't that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if my updates aren't super consistent, I'm entering the home stretch of the semester and I'm surprised that I managed to get this done. But don't worry, I fully intend on completing this story - there just might be a time where other things in my life take more priority. Thanks for getting this far!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again you have to rescue Ben, but where do you even start? Meanwhile Ben stumbles straight into the biggest crime organization on Tattoine.

Ben didn’t know what he was doing; it seemed like a good idea at the time to go after Han Solo. He imagined punching him straight in the mouth; he wanted him to feel the same pain that he did. This dream of his would not be realized today, Ben was lost, in the middle of the fucking desert. 

He couldn’t recognize anything, there was nothing but sand, he kept on speeding across the landscape. He kept on driving, mesmerized by the way the ground blended together, unwilling to go back and deal with the lecture that you’d probably give him. He was wrong however, if he came back, you would probably hug him, you just wanted him to be alive. 

A shout in silence, the speeder had run out of fuel. Ben realized that he probably should’ve just turned back while he could, because now he was just fucked. He kicked the old rust bucket, which was also a mistake. Ben laid on the hot sand, chest heaving in anger and shame. After finally getting to a normal breathing rate, Ben picked himself back up again and began walking towards the setting suns. He made it to a building, and he knocked to get inside, the suns had set now and it was cold, he had to get inside before he froze to death out in this wasteland. 

You set off in the direction that Ben had sped off in, using a combination of the force and your knowledge of the landscape to track Ben down. By nightfall, you made it to the broken down and abandoned speeder. This spelled bad news, you could see the direction that he walked off into. Ben had walked straight towards one of the biggest criminal originations on this system, and for Tattoine that says something. 

Ben was humiliated; he didn’t think it was possible to be laughed at in every language. But here he was stripped down to only have a cloth covering his groin, face painted like how he used to do when he first started working as a Senator, imitating Padme Amidala. For the first time in a long time, Ben reached out to the force. It was strange, and overwhelming at first. Eventually he was able to reach out, you were close.

“Y/N!” He called you.  
“Ben, you’re okay thank goodness, I’m coming don’t worry,” You answer. Ben releases the breath that he was holding. It would be over soon. He tried remembering this while they laughed at him, he couldn’t break his composure. 

You made it to the building, and you could sense Ben inside, he was extremely upset. You needed a plan; it wouldn’t be easy to get Ben out of there, especially when you didn’t have any currency that these vagrants would accept. Like Luke always said, Trust in the Force, you hoped that you wouldn’t fail this time. 

“Well, well, well, look what we have here?” Senator Gromon leered at Ben. “Senator Amidala, this new look suits you, or should I say slave,” Gromon snarls out. Ben tries to hide his fear, things had just gotten a lot worse. He kept an impassive expression, wise enough not to provoke slimy old Gromon. 

Meanwhile you were able to knock out a bounty hunter entering the building to steal their clothes and mask, it would be best not to be recognized, Ben warned you about Gromon. Inside was dark and cave like, with dim lighting and the faint sounds of tortured screams echoing off the walls. This was a bad place, but this was not your first time here. You had been on a mission here once before, to free some of the women who were taken as slaves, so you were prepared for what you might see.  
In the central hall sat Ben, on his knees with a thick metal collar around his neck, skin exposed to greedy eyes. Everyone’s attention turned to you. You were an unexpected guest. You held your ground, keeping your composure as eyes pried and prodded at your form. 

“Vera! You finally made it!” Gromon greets you, thinking that you’re his friend. You play along, being cordial with him, he couldn’t recognize your voice with the modulator and you were grateful. Ben didn’t recognize you either, and as much as you wanted to relieve his fears you couldn’t have him act suspiciously and blow your cover. 

“Vera, look at this, I have a gift for you. A new plaything! You can do anything that you want with him, and I mean anything,” Gromon presented Ben to you. He shuddered, you circled him, trying to play along as best as possible but you hated making him feel afraid.

“Gromon, if it’s alright with you I’d like to start as soon as possible, you can watch if you’d like,” You droll out, surprising yourself with your improvisation abilities. 

“Of course, I’d love to watch,” He chuckles. You felt disgusted. You ushered Gromon out of the building, telling him that you had somewhere more private to do this. He gave you the key for Ben, and you placed a hand on Ben’s shoulders to assure his worries and let him know that it was you so that he could play along. 

You made it out of the nefarious building, and just when Gromon was about to speak again, you knocked him out. Next you took off your mask, and took the chains off of Ben.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, eyes scanning over him to assess the damage. You draped your cloak over his bare form, giving him some dignity.

“Y/N,” He whimpered, you kneeled down to pet his hair, soothing his sobbing with a gentle touch. Ben broke down, he had been holding it all in, ever since he saw Han, and he could no longer hold back. You comforted him, and he was thankful for it, your kindness bringing an unknown warm feeling to his heart. 

“I’m so glad you’re all right Ben, I thought I lost you, I’m sorry I failed,” You express to him your feelings after he seems to have calmed down. 

“It’s not your fault Y/N, it’s mine. I’ve already given you so much trouble, I can’t believe you came to my rescue,” He apologizes with a quiet voice. Ben hadn’t taken responsibility like this in a long time.

“I’ll always come to save you Senator,” You say, playfully hitting the side of his arm. This makes him almost smile; he had never felt cared by anyone like this in his life, not since before he can remember.

“What do we do about him?” Ben points to Gromon with a disgusted face.

“I don’t know. I can’t just get rid of him. I might have to bring him with us, he could be a suspect too,” You suggest. Ben groans. He doesn’t want to see Gromon’s ugly face any longer. 

“Actually I think I may have a better idea.” Ben smirks maliciously. 

Ben switches clothes with Gromon, and takes some very incriminated pictures; you leave Gromon in the middle of the desert. This was insurance for Ben, even better blackmail material, and you don’t really know why but you went along with it. Maybe after everything that he had been through, you were willing to let him have that one. 

You make it back to the small abode in the mountains, starving you prepare some food for yourself and Ben. 

“Y/N, please. Tell me about yourself, I need to forget about this day,” Ben asks you while you cook.

“Fine, I’m feeling generous today I guess. So I mentioned where I’m from, Lyra, it’s small, not very important in the grand scheme of things. I come from a pretty normal family, and I didn’t really realize that I was force sensitive until much later in life,” You start off. Ben hums in interest, he had been curious about you for a while now.

“My parents, they don’t believe in the force, so many things that I thought were just normal were actually connected to the force, but I didn’t know it. It wasn’t until I attended my higher education that I realized what it was. It was difficult, because once I realized I really wanted to follow that path, becoming a Jedi just seemed so natural, I wanted to make a difference,” You pause.

“Eventually that ambition became to much to bear, and I told my parents about it, they discouraged me, told me that it was all wish wash. They followed a religion that didn’t believe in the force, and it caused some conflict. From that I continued my studies, trying to forget about the force, until one day I met Luke Skywalker,” You continue. 

“I left my family behind and began training to become a Jedi, although I may not agree with every single teaching because I think it’s better to be critical of old traditions, I am very much a Jedi. Even though I had to sacrifice my relationship with my family, being able to learn who I am and help people has made up for it all,” You finish. 

“So that’s my life story, what about you?” You turn the question to Ben.

“Your story was nice, but you don’t want to here mine, maybe someday I’ll tell you about myself because I think you’ve earned it. But not today,” He replies. 

You finally get some rest after the seemingly never-ending day. Later you watch the suns set with Ben’s, it’s one of your favorite things about Tattoine, and you were happy to give him one nice memory of this system in a sea full of bad ones. At least the two of you weren’t fighting anymore, and it seems as if Ben had finally accepted who you were as a person, despite what he had against Jedi’s. 

Ben was still a little troubled over the events that took place earlier, but he could easily forget that seeing that content look in your eyes as you stared at the sky. You were so beautiful, and it really affected him. He had never spent so much time with anyone like this, never trusted anyone enough to be vulnerable in front of them, but things were changing. He trusted you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Ben have left Tattoine for the far nicer system Naboo, you spend a relaxing day together and you help Ben reestablish his connection with the force.

Muscles moving, mind calculating, a thin sheen of sweat covers your form as you complete your daily regime. A combination of physical and mental exercises keeps you in top shape. Naboo was a nice change of scenery, and the force felt really clear here. You close your eyes to feel the grass between your toes and take a deep breath. You weren’t alone.

“Ben what are doing standing over there like that? Come over here,” You direct to Ben, who has a sheepish look on his face. He couldn’t help but stare, you were wearing a top that exposed your arms and chest and a pair of tight pants, face rosy from your exertions, and the smile that you gave him made him melt, you were so charming in your own way. After a long moment of staring at you, your words finally register and he walks over to stand besides you, looking at you with lost eyes and uncertainty. 

“Sit,” You command, patting the ground next to you. Ben reluctantly sits. “Meditate with me,” You invite him. Ben looks at you quizzically.

“Y/N, just because I can use the force doesn’t mean that I want to,” He replies.  
“It doesn’t have to be like that,” You say, placing your hand atop of his. “You’ve had a clouding your thoughts lately, sometimes it’s good to take a moment to reflect, to take a breath so you can think clearly again,” You continue. Ben reluctantly sits besides you.

“Okay so I’m going to do a guided meditation today, so close your eyes. First focus on your breath, the way that it leaves your body, the way that it fills your lungs,” You start, taking deep breaths in between. 

“Visualize an ocean, imagine the way the rolling waves sounds, the smell of the salty air, the turning tides,” You say calmly. Ben tries to do as you say but he can’t focus, the sound of your voice is making it difficult just to breathe. 

“Y/N I can’t do this, this is ridiculous,” He interrupts. 

“Okay, why don’t we try something else, I know a lot of ways to relieve stress,” You reply.

“I am not stressed!” Ben defends, the raising of his voice saying otherwise.

“Sure, you’re heart’s beating really fast and you’re shouting for no reason,” You retort. Ben pouts, it’s not stress but he didn’t want to tell you the real reason that your outfit was making him feel excited and confused all at once. 

“Since you’re hear, why don’t you be my sparring partner for the day,” You suggest. You throw him a practice saber and he catches it, reacting quickly. The weight feels familiar in his hand; he considers it for a moment, before readying himself in a fighting stance. He wanted to feel your strength. You smirk at him before picking up a practice saber of your own. 

You let him attack you, it’s weak and you easily shove him back. Next you strike, and you don’t hold back, he barely holds his grown. Realizing that you weren’t going to go easy on him, he puts more effort in to his next attack.

“Is that the best that you’ve got, come on I know you’ve got some training under your belt, you’re strong, you can do better than that,” You goad him on. Something changes in Ben, his mind remembering that natural connection to the force, a switch flips and he lets it flow through him. His attacks are faster, and soon the two of you are fighting fluidly, in a dangerous dance. You use the force to push him back.

“Hey that’s not fair, no using the force,” Ben complains. He forgets himself as you lift up your shirt, removing the sweaty garment. 

“What do you mean, you’ve been using the force this entire time,” You counter, almost flirtingly. You give him a moment to collect himself, as you could tell that your body was affecting him, but you kind of enjoyed teasing him. He kind of deserved it from the way that he had treated you when you first met. 

This time he wasn’t able to defend himself to your strike and you end up making him fall to the ground, with you on top of it. Ben looks away, unable to meet your eyes from embarrassment. He can’t stop his body’s reaction to the heat of your form against his, the soft plush of your skin. 

“Ben,” You get his attention, by calling his name. He squirms under you, trying to get you to move away. You can feel his erection through his pants, impressive in size. You couldn’t follow that path, as much as you wanted to, it would be wrong, a temptation that you couldn’t succumb to. 

“It’s okay,” You console him, and place a chaste kiss on his cheek before getting up. You walk away, leaving Ben to his thoughts. His mind was screaming, telling him to get up and go after you.

“Fuck,” He cursed, slamming his fist against the grass. When did he become such a coward! If you were anyone else he would’ve kissed you, seduced you with his lips and then fucked you there and then. He moaned in shame, even though you said it was okay he didn’t believe it. You probably saw him as some horny asshole, to be fair he usually was, but he wanted to be better than that for you. 

He knew his reputation, as the man who never could be in a real relationship, a man who used people for sex. Usually he didn’t care what others thought of him, yet with you he found himself worrying about your opinion of him, he had made a pretty bad first impression. Unlike others, you hadn’t taken advantage of him, which was rare when he let people become close to him in the past. You treated him like an equal, like a friend. Now he respected you, and he wanted you to see him in the same regard, Ben was pretty sure that he just ruined that forever. 

You hadn’t wanted to leave Ben behind like that, however you were so close to kissing him, close to succumbing to your desire. You liked Ben, he was witty and charming, and you understood the reasons behind some of the stranger behaviors that he exhibited, it made him a more interesting character to be around. A part of you knew that he liked you too, but you didn’t know if he just liked your body or if he liked you as a person. It didn’t matter though, being with him in the way that you wanted was just not possible with being a Jedi, it was too dangerous and you didn’t want him to get hurt. 

You went about your business for the rest of the day, making notice of Ben’s quiet return and leaving him to his own devices. He was avoiding you, shame flowing off of him in waves, it made you feel just a little bad for teasing him, but only a little. It wasn’t until you found yourself eating dinner alone that you decided to take action. 

“Come on Ben, eat dinner with me,” You yelled, you can here him grumble a no in response. You wouldn’t give up that easily.  
“I’m opening your door either way,” You warn, you hear the rustling of fabric. Using the force, you unlock his door. When you open the door you see a shirtless Ben, clutching his sheets over his body. It was funny, before he seemed to have no modesty. His cheeks were tinted pink in embarrassment.

“Umm, just give me a moment, I’ll eat dinner with you,” He croaks, while looking down at the sheets. If you knew what he was just doing you’d probably understand why he was acting so bizarrely. Ben sighed in relief when you left, looking under the covers at his still ever present erection, that would have to wait for now. But first, he needed a cold shower. 

To Ben’s surprise, you planned on eating dinner outside, and he was able to see the dress that you changed into earlier. He felt like he was on a date. 

“Why are you doing all this Y/N, aren’t you supposed to be figuring out whose trying to kill me?” He questions. It stings a little, and you don’t really know why, but it makes you feel defensive.

“I’m a person too you know. I thought that it’d be nice to have a distraction, you’ve gone through a lot in such a short period of time,” You explain, you may be a Jedi, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy your life. You had just saved his life twice now and you felt like he was being ungrateful.

“You misunderstand,” He sighs. “ I should’ve phrased that better, why are you being so nice to me, it’s not necessary,” He clarifies. You reflect a moment before providing an answer; it was normal for you to do things like this for people without a second thought.

“I want you to be happy, you’re a lot better to be around when you’re not a grumpy jerk,” You respond. 

“Don’t say things like that to me, not unless you mean it,” Ben trails off, looking to the horizon. He’s had too much disappointment in his life for you to say things like that, he didn’t think that you were lying, but he could never really be certain. Ben was filled with insecurities from his past.

“Ben, of course I mean it, I’m no politician I would never take advantage of you like that,” You assure him. 

“I know your not like that, you’d never make it as a politician, you’re too nice,” He chuckles, it was nice to hear you confirm his suspicions, sometimes he just needed the reassurance. You smile genuinely at his compliment, giggling as you thought of yourself as a politician.

“Yes, I’d make a terrible politician, you’re probably much more suited to the job,” You divulged your thoughts. Ben laughs imagining the scenario; how people would react to you. The two of you, almost subconsciously are leaning towards one another, listening attentively and making strong eye contact. 

“How did you become interested in politics, I know that your Leia’s son, but there must be more to it than that,” You query, hoping to hear him talk a little about his life. 

“It’s a long story and it’s not a happy one, are you sure?” He gives you a chance to back out. You nod, wanting to hear more about that person that he was. He takes a deep breath in preparation, he’s not used to sharing his life with others, but he wanted to with you.

“I’m sure that you noticed that I’m force sensitive, like you, this caused some problems within my family. My father didn’t understand it, made me feel like a freak in my own home, but I looked up to him despite it all. My mother was more sympathetic, but there were so many times where she was busy with work, or busy fighting with my father, it was a lonely childhood,” Ben pauses. 

“You don’t have to go on if you want to, it’s okay,” You comfort Ben who looks distraught.

“No I will, I need to get this off my chest,” He replies.

“My mother unsure what to do with my growing strength in the force handed me off to Luke, and I began training in the force. I didn’t get along with the other kids, they hated me, and they were jealous of me. It filled me with so much anger, and I tried to reach out to my parents and they only disappointed me again. One day it became too much, I lost it and I ran away,” He continued.

“My mother finally picked me up one day, the funny thing was that I was on Tattoine and my father was there too. But he was too busy with some other kids to take his own son home, so my mother came. After a short while she planned on taking me back to Luke, but I ran off instead. That’s when I found out about Padme Amidala, and my legacy, she inspired me and I decided to become a politician,” He finished.

“I see why you hate Tattoine so much, I won’t make you go back there,” You chime in. 

“I appreciate that Y/N, thank you for listening to me,” He smiles.

“Anytime,” You offered. Ben felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he was open with you and you hadn’t rejected him. Afterwards you sat together in a comfortable in silence under the stars, enjoying this moment of peace while it lasted. Quiet was rare in this galaxy full of screaming stars, the balance of power was constantly tilting. You didn’t notice Ben looking at you while you were deep in thought, he was losing his battle with you and it would cost him his heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Red, red everywhere. Encompassing everything as far as the eye could see. Then screams, terrible screams. A man with a maniacal grin, rows of black and white, then layers and layers of metal. These images ravaged your dreams, in quick succession, repeating over and over again. A great terror washes over you. Something terrible is about to happen.

You wake suddenly, ears still ringing, covered in sweat. A shirtless Ben suddenly rushes in, looking around your room quickly before seeing you, obviously upset. You were crying in your sleep, and it made Ben feel very worried. Looking at your tear stricken face, he feels the need to protect you the way that you had protected him.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Ben asks. The mattress dips as he sits besides you. He hated seeing you like this and wanted to fix it. You bury your face in your hands, too upset to respond. You knew this feeling, these dreams; it made you feel the same way when you first learned of the destruction of the Death Star. People were about to commit an atrocity against the very stars themselves, all for the sake of power. 

Ben awkwardly pats your back, not sure how to comfort you. He knows what he really wants to do, the thing that would make him feel better, but that probably would make you more upset. Your next action surprises him; you wrap your arms around him in a tight grip and bury your face into his chest. Ben returns the hug warmly, now stroking your back without hesitation.

“It’s okay, everyone has nightmares once in a while, do you want to talk about it?” He consoles you. 

“I wish it was a nightmare Ben, it was something else. A feeling, like something terrible is going to happen. I have to do something,” You explain. You couldn’t just sit back and watch the galaxy go up in flames, even though you had your duty to protect Ben, you had a feeling that all of this was connected in some way. You were stuck, you cared about Ben so much and you didn’t want to risk his life, on the other hand you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t do anything now. 

“I’ll go with you,” Ben replies. 

“What?” You question.

“I’ll go with you, whatever it is. I want to help,” He promises. You look at him in shock, again left with a difficult decision. While it warmed your heart, it was dangerous to take up his offer. Luke would certainly disapprove. However you trusted Ben, he was capable, and more so you trusted the force. Maybe you had too many feeling in this matter, at least that’s what the old Jedi might say. For now you weren’t going to follow any code, trusting the force and letting it guide you was always the best path.

“I shouldn’t, I can’t put you in danger like that I’m supposed to protect you not put you in the line of fire,” You reject his proposition.

“I care too you know, it may not seem like it sometimes but why else would I become a Senator. I can fight, I’m capable of defending myself,” Ben argues. You mull it over for a moment, trying to take time to make the right choice.

“Look, I’m going to go back to sleep, I’ll give you my decision in the morning. Rest for now,” You tell him. 

“Can I stay here though? I’m feeling uneasy,” Ben asks you.

“I mean I guess, if you’d like to,” You give him permission. Even though it should be you who’s feeling uneasy, you found his presence comforting. Ben laid down on the other side of the bed, under the covers next to you so that you could just feel one side of his body touching yours. He was a big guy, and since the bed wasn’t very roomy it meant that you would be sleeping together closely tonight. 

Ben woke up before you, the bright sun peaking through the shades bringing his senses to life. He began stretching out, only to see you by his side; did you have sex with him? No right, he remembered now. He was glad to see you sleeping soundly then. 

He couldn’t help but stare at you, hair fanning on your pillow, cheeks glowing with morning light, your bear shoulder peaking from under the sheets. He’d never felt attracted to a woman like this; usually he hated seeing anyone in his bed when he woke up, because of his own self-hate and disgust of his actions. However he didn’t feel that way with you.

He felt bad watching you like this, like a creep, but he couldn’t turn his eyes away. He watched you for what felt like hours, until you began to stir from your sleep. You open your eyes to see Ben looking at you, before he quickly turns away to hide his blush. 

“I’ve made my decision, we’re going,” You inform him, voice still heavy with sleep. 

“I guess I’ll make some breakfast then,” Ben gets up. He’s glad that you see him as capable, it make him feel more worthy to be by your side. Now the trick is trying to make a stellar breakfast, he wanted to impress you in any way he could, prove himself to you. Showing off was the main way he knew how to get people to like him, he hoped it would work with you.

You were surprised about just how much breakfast Ben made, it was a bit overkill even but you appreciated it nonetheless. It wasn’t all burnt either, you were impressed by his cooking skills. “Thank you Ben, this is more than I could’ve asked for,” You share your gratitude, deciding not to comment on the excess of food. 

The first thing that you need to do is find Ben a weapon, you had your light saber which was always necessary but Ben needed something better than a blaster to defend himself. You had an idea of where one might be, the graveyard of Imperial ships and artifacts, Jakku. It would be risky, as it seemed that the First Order was spreading to more corners of the galaxy by the second. Time to take action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little short, just felt like it was a good place to end it at. Also sorry I haven't updated in while, I've been busy with finals and holiday stuff and haven't had as much motivation to write this during that time.


	8. Chapter 8

Bright white dots, extending into lines, and your world lurches forward. You’re speeding through space, blue and white swirling around you in some sort of vortex. You emerge from light speed, the dusty ship graveyard suddenly appearing in your vision. Ben silently flips switches and steers your ship into the atmosphere, black changing into blue skies. The journey was silent, but not empty. 

Death seems to be everywhere; you learned that your vision wasn’t just a dream. The things that you saw were already happening right now. The news was everywhere, the destruction of Hosnian Prime and the New Republic. It was a great tragedy, and you still felt the weight in your chest. 

A lingering tension filled the air, as much as you tried to relax, there was nothing that could truly calm your electric nerves. Ben placed a hand on yours after he landed the ship, squeezing it lightly in reassurance. “It’s time to go,” He announces, breaking you from your trance. You nod to him, tightening your belt that secures your lifeline to your waist. 

You lead the way, with Ben following closely behind you. The sand gives way under your feet, leaving tracks behind and marking your presence. You stop for a moment, and then grab a scope to scout the horizon. You can spot a few storm troopers in the distance; you just hoped that you would find what you needed here.

You and Ben don’t talk much, your focus on observing and watching out for any threats. After what feels like hours under the burning sun, you reach your destination. A small village in the south, or what should be a village. The only thing you can see for miles are ashes and rubble, the only thing left here was death. 

“We’re too late,” You sobbed, knees falling to the sand. The First Order had been here, no doubt, and they still remained. Ben places a hand on your shoulder, kneeling down besides you in support. He felt like a failure, how could he have let something like this happen? “Ben don’t think like that it’s not your fault, there’s only so much we can do to stop things that are often beyond our control,” You advise him.

“What do we do know?” Ben asks you, feeling a bit lost. 

“There’s someone else who might have what I’m looking for, we should head back to the ship,” You suggest. Maz Kanata, a collector of many things, may just have what you need. 

You pass the central market while making your way back, and you stop for a moment to rest in the shade and hydrate. There you see a man drinking from water besides a Happabore, poor guy. But what really catches your attention is a young woman with an orange BB-8 unit. The force was powerful around her, like a bright beacon, something was awakening. You smiled at her and she gave you a strange look so you just decided to move on, you had a feeling that you’d be meeting again soon.

Shots fire, the First Order is once again making their presence known. You see the man grab the hand of that woman. You hope that they escape. Meanwhile you and Ben run in the opposite direction, towards your ship in the distance. The shots are fortunately not directed towards you, though they are worrisome all the same. 

“Well that could’ve gone better. Where to now princess?” Ben asks. 

“If I’m a princess then you must be a gluttonous pig,” You retort. Ben looks at you through narrowed eyes. “I was just playing, you’re too cruel, Y/N,” He replies. But did you really think of him that way?

“Ben I’m in no mood for games right now we need to go to Takodana,” You ordered, patience wearing thin. Ben sticks his tongue out you before starting the engines, annoyed that you were so insulted. He was just trying to flirt with you a bit; maybe it just wasn’t your strong suit. He wasn’t used to being shot down so much by a woman; it only riled him up more. Maybe you just have never had the opportunity to be treated like a princess, he’d have to show you someday, spoil you rotten. 

“Well what are you waiting for?” You snap at Ben. Without a word, Ben pulls up and jumps into light speed. God he needed to stop thinking of you like this, not now, he couldn’t let you down at a time like this. Eventually though he can’t take the silence anymore, he couldn’t stop imagining scenarios with you in his mind and it was driving him mad.

“Look, I know I can be an ass, but now is not a good time for us to be frustrated with each other. Whatever is bothering you, just tell me,” He sighs, preparing himself for what you might say to him.

“You’re right Ben, I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out right now and it’s getting to me,” You explain. You didn’t mean to lash out at Ben; you just didn’t want anything to go wrong. 

“It’s okay Y/N, you don’t have to apologize, just relax. We’re almost there,” He consoles you. 

And he’s right, soon after you reach Maz’s Castle, adorned with colorful flags. You made Ben wear a scarf to cover his hair and face because you had a feeling that someone here would recognize him, if he had enemies within the senate, he had to have enemies elsewhere as well. Of course, Maz blows your cover immediately (though she doesn’t recognize Ben).

“Y/N what brings you here to visit?” Maz greets jovially. She was the one who helped you understand your abilities and get connected with Luke. 

“Maz, it’s nice to see you. I need something and you’re the only one I know who can help,” You state, getting right to the point.

“Child, relax. You carry the weight of a thousand suns; sit down for a moment and rest. Introduce me to your friend,” She pleads.

“I wish I could, but I don’t think I have that luxury today. And this is Ben, he’s a friend of mine and he’s currently undercover,” You said. 

“I see, tell me what is it that you need?” She offers, acknowledging Ben with a nod.

“A light saber,” You state, barely above a whisper. 

“Hmm, for this one?” She queries. You nod. Quickly she gets up on a table and takes off her glasses to look at Ben. He’s a bit startled, but at your reassurance he goes along with it.

“Oh, your thoughts are very clouded,” She says, you can’t hear what she says next.

“I know you like her, maybe even love her, use that. It will help your fight, and don’t be so hard on yourself! She likes you too,” Maz whispers to Ben. He tried to hide his smile, heart swelling with confidence at her words. 

“I have just the thing,” She says to both of you. She leads you downstairs to a room, where she unwraps a clothed object. Inside is a light saber, she hands it to Ben who stares at it with wonder. The weight feels just right, he clicks the blade, it’s a bright blue, humming and vibrant.

“Take care of it, it belonged to a great man who shared your name,” Maz tells Ben.

“Of course, thank you, I’ll make sure to get it back to you,” Ben smiles down at the saber and back at you. 

“Don’t return it, keep it! It’s a gift,” Maz gestured towards Ben. He hugs Maz, thanking her again, she sends you off with her luck and you continue your journey. In the distance, the Millennium Falcon touches down amongst the trees.

“Where to next my dear?” Ben asks you, still smiling from before. You laugh at him, he’s grinning like an idiot and just being cute.  
“I want to visit the Resistance Base, they may have some helpful information for us,” You answer Ben. 

“What about my mother?” He questions.

“We’ll just have to deal with it, she might not be too happy with me, but we might be passed that point by now,” You decided. 

“Okay,” He agrees. He knows that his mother will probably be against his involvement, but will be unable to stop him. Besides, you would go out and do something anyways and he needed to be with you to watch your back. He didn’t want to leave your side. 

You com in to get into the base and land in the hangar. You walk through the base with Ben by your side, people staring at you and wondering who you are. You notify someone that you need to meet with the General, and you learn that she’s in a meeting. You go with Ben to the briefing room, deciding to wait to speak to her inside. 

Leia notices your presence and stops her speech. Ben stiffens besides you, frowning deeply at the older man across the table. “Han Solo,” He grumbles under his breath. You place a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, and he turns to you, clearly distressed.

“Ben, Y/N, I’m guessing you came to help,” Leia addressed you. Suddenly everyone turned to you, including the man that you saw earlier on Jakku. 

“The First Order has developed a super weapon capable of destroying systems as seen by the destruction of the Republic, and now they may be turning to us, it’s time to strike,” She starts. People turn to one another, unsure what to do. How do you stop a weapon the size of a system?

“We could always blow it up,” Han suggests. Ben scoffs at him, rolling his eyes; funny enough Leia seems to be doing the same. However that seems to be the plan that you’re going with, you and much to Ben’s dislike will be going with Han Solo on the Millennium Falcon to infiltrate the base, rescue a girl, and shut down the shields. 

You and Ben were left to go and disable the shields while Han and the man who you learned was named Finn went to go and get the girl. You ran into a chrome-plated storm trooper, and with the threat of two light sabers you made her disable the shields, surprisingly she complied without much resistance. 

You met up with the others, recognizing the girl, Rey, as the one that you met earlier in the day. The force seemed to be flowing though her now, like a padawan who had just learned about the concept. Han and his loyal companion Chewbacca left to go set up some detonators in the central reactor.

“We should go after them,” Rey suggested. 

“We should just go back to the shape, you just escaped!” Finn argued.

“No, we should go. I have a bad feeling about this,” You agree with Rey. You begin heading back, climbing up a ladder into the base. Ben follows you reluctantly, not really wanting to argue with you. “Y/N please just be careful,” He whispers to you. “Always,” You reply. 

You make it up to the top, and overlooking a bridge you can see Han Solo, for some reason he’s not moving. No, you know why, he’s frozen in place. Suddenly the figure spears him with a red light saber, and Han Solo falls to his death. Rey screams, and Chewbacca shoots the figure in black. Ben seems confused, but his mourning could wait, you were in danger and he needed to get you out of here.

“Wait Rey, No!” You yell, as she goes after the masked man. You run after her, much to the disdain of Ben. He grabs your wrist, trying to stop you.

“Y/N, come on, let’s just go back to the ship. We’ve done what we can,” He urges. 

“I can’t, I have to go, it’s my duty,” You declare. You escape from his grasp, running off into the trees. But you don’t get very far; Ben holds you in a vice grip, even using the force to restrain you. He wouldn’t let you go, he couldn’t lose you. You’re forced to watch as Rey gets knocked into a tree and Finn picks up her weapon. 

“Let me go Ben!” You demand. “Never,” He rejects, continuing to hold you tightly to his chest. “This isn’t your fight princess,” He assures you. You’re panicking, can’t even get yourself together enough to properly get free of his hold. You’re completely overwhelmed, should’ve rested when Maz suggested. 

You watch as Finn fights, he’s not terrible, but he lacks technique. The man knocks him out, and you feel like you could’ve stopped it. Just as the man begins using the force to get the light saber, it flies right past him, into the hands of Rey. They begin fighting, and you’re impressed by her skill as whose someone untrained. 

“Come on, she’s got this. Let’s get Finn and start heading back to the ship,” Ben directs. You agree with him and he finally lets you go, you carry Finn back to the ship, begin dressing his wounds. Rey returns with Chewbacca and begins piloting the ship. It’s not that Ben wasn’t a good pilot, he was great, but he didn’t want to touch this ship, could hardly stand being in it. Starkiller base breaks apart beneath you as you jet off into space.

You return to the base and Chewbacca embraces Leia in a hug, mourning the loss of a beloved friend. You feel more at peace finally knowing that that weapon was destroyed. You know that the fight isn’t over, and it never will be, but for now at least you can rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about a late update, but this one is a bit longer to make up for it. We're past the halfway point now, can't believe I've actually kept up with it.The next chapter will be smut by the way.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben can't take it anymore, this chapter is mostly smut, contains masturbation

Maz’s words repeated over and over in his head, Ben was left to his own devices after you stormed off earlier. Of course you would be so ungrateful after he had just saved your life.

“What the hell was that back there, Amidala?” 

“I was just trying to protect you Y/N,” Ben justified. In his mind he had made the right decision. Nevertheless hearing you call him Amidala really stung; he thought things were going pretty well.

“Protect me? I’m the one who’s supposed to protect you, give my life for yours! That was not your choice to make,” You yell at him. 

“I get that you’re upset, but you’re alive aren’t you?” Why were you being so stubborn about this? He didn’t understand you. He didn’t want you to die for him that sounded like his worst nightmare. 

“Whatever Ben, don’t expect me to thank you, I’m going to check on Finn,” 

“Finn! What the fuck?” Ben curses. He really pissed you off and now you were running off to see another man, this was all wrong. You were supposed to thank him, give him a great big hug and then he’d swoop in for the long awaited kiss. From then he’d kiss you right into bed. But it looked like he wasn’t going to seduce you anytime soon, god how was he so pathetic?

Ben thought of what Maz said earlier, trying to believe what she said. It didn’t make any sense, if you liked him why would you go off and see Finn. You mystified Ben, he had been trying so hard to figure you out and say the right things, and no matter how hard he tried he kept on making you mad. 

No, he was right back there; you were exhausted from everything that happened. You weren’t yourself, and you would’ve gotten hurt, he could sense it. He decided to give you time to calm down; you’d forgive him eventually. Right now he needed to distract himself from the fact that you were probably with Finn, it was horrible to think this way but a part of Ben was glad that he was knocked out. He couldn’t help his jealousy either.

“Stop that, think of something else, something nice, like Y/N,” Ben said to himself.

Ben’s face heated up as he found his mind immediately went to lewd thoughts, he’d better find some place private. You were just too tempting, too divine. He couldn’t take it.

He found himself relying on the comfort of his hand a lot more as of late, verses the heat of a woman. Ben blamed you entirely, it was your fault that he hadn’t been able to satisfy the urge, your fault for making him feel this way. Thinking of you now, the way that your body pressed against his as he held you, fuck he was in trouble. With a growl Ben roughly began palming his erection, bulging angrily under his pants. 

Nice thoughts turned naughty so quickly in his mind, well at least it was a distraction. It was so frustrating, to feel this way and to be completely helpless. He didn’t want to confront the fact that he loved you; he just thought you were really sexy. That was all. He was just horny. 

It had nothing to do with the way that his heart fluttered when you smiled, nothing to do with the song of your laughter, your sharp wit and quick tongue that could also be unbelievable kind. The way that your face flushed pink when you were mad with him, the gentle touch of your hand on his shoulder. Fuck Maz was right.

He had to stop this course of action. It wasn’t helping at all. It only made him want you even more, his heart aching deep within his chest. Yet no matter how hard his thoughts screamed at him, he could do nothing to stop his hand rubbing faster, imagining it was your hand touching him like this. Fuck what were you doing to him? You would kill him before the First Order did with the way things were going. 

At the same time he loved it, the thrill of you catching him, seeing your angry pink cheeks, arms crossed so they push your breasts up. And it was distracting him from his other problem with you, so for now he would surrender to the never-ending tide of his lust.

He wanted nothing more than to sink his aching cock into your cunt, to hear the sounds that you would make, to punish you for making him mad like this. But for now, his lubricated hand would have to do. His mind wandered to a fantasy of you, one that he seemed to return to often. 

You would be wearing that dress you wore to the restaurant, the one that exposed your back and hugged your curves. You would be staring up at the night sky, looking at the stars. He would place a hand on the bare skin of your lower back, and you would turn, smile at him warmly. His hand would linger, brushing the soft skin there. You would let him, going back to stare at the stars, pretending not to notice him. 

You two would stand together in silence, but eventually his patience would wear thin, unable to take your ignoring of him any longer. Ben began teasing himself with these thoughts, hands brushing over his chest, up his inner thigh. His thoughts ran wild, his intricate fantasy dictating his actions. 

He imagined that once a placed a soft kiss on your jawline, that you would blush and try to turn away, but wouldn’t stop him. Eventually he would get your attention, and you would look up at him with curious eyes, he would ask you if you wanted to leave, and he envisioned you saying yes in a breathy voice. Sometimes in his fantasy he could make it to the apartment, to his bed, but this time in his own eagerness his mind moved to having you in the speeder. 

It was a romanticized version of you, he knew that you’d never let him have you that easily, but it was what he wanted most. He wanted you to respond to his advances, to flirt with him rather than insult him. He wanted you to love him ultimately, and for you to let him love you, though he didn’t know what that looked like. It was also impossible for him to reconstruct your personality in his mind, especially in a lust-fueled haze. 

He reached his limit with the teasing, finally freeing his confined erection. He barely pulled down his pants below his ass before lubricating his hand and fisting his cock. He started slow, thumbing the slit on his head and rubbing around the lube and precum, the tips of his fingers traced over the vein alongside his shaft and he had to suppress his moan with a pillow.

He began stroking his engorged cock, wildly and with abandon, he was so impatient when it came to you. There was many times where he struggled to hold himself back from his instincts to tackle you to the ground and jump your bones. Either you had no idea how sexy you were, or you did and you loved to torture him. It was certainly working whatever it was. 

He worked his wrist even faster, twisting and turning up and down his shaft. It made a disgusting wet sound, and Ben was ashamed that it turned him on more. He imagined ripping your dress off, groping your soft flesh, and how you would whimper at his touch. This all reminded him of his Jedi days, how guilty he felt from his desire, how he tried to hide it. He couldn’t help himself, his desire was becoming difficult to control, and he needed to release it or else he would project it unto you. He couldn’t take your reaction, you were making progress, and he didn’t want to put that in jeopardy. 

But fuck, he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to see you smile at him, wanted to hear you moan his name. He would try to savor you, kissing and suckling your soft breasts. He would grow impatient, prying your thighs apart and ripping off your panties. Finally, he would taste you, he imagined your sweet juices flowing on his tongue, and how you would moan just as sweetly for him. 

He imagined how your body might align with his own; how you’re hard nipples may rub against his chest as he slid into you. God, it would feel so good, your warm cunt surrounding him. His face was pushed against a pillow, muffling his moans as he rapidly stroked his cock. He rutted against his fist into the sheets, he was like a horny beast. If you had walked in right now you wouldn’t be able to stop him, in fact if he heard your voice he would probably cum all over his hand. 

He pumped his fist up and down, pretending that it was your cunt. His face was still pressed into a pillow, ass up in the air, humping into the sheets. “Oh Y/N, oh fuck,” He moaned into the pillow. “Fuck I need you, please,” He whined. He could feel his orgasm approaching, but he wanted to make it last, he tried to be slow and prolong it. He came anyways, all over his hand and despite his determination to make it last just a bit longer.

It was messy, sticky seed gushed all over his hand, spilling over onto the sheets. He cried out as he came, the sweetest release. He was panting now, hot and sweaty from his exertions. His orgasm was so powerful that he drifted of into a comfortable slumber. 

He dreamed of you, how it might feel to hold you in his arms, in a state of post-orgasmic bliss. It would be magnificent; in the fantasy he would whisper sweet nothings into your ear, covering your nude body with his clothes. Then he would take you back to his apartment, arm around your waist during the drive.

Together you would fall asleep, waking in one another’s arms, unlike the other women you would stay throughout the night and into the next day. Maybe he’d wow you with a great breakfast, kiss you softly when you wake, or you’d just stay in bed for a little while longer. Most importantly, you wouldn’t leave; all he wanted was for you to sleep in his bed, and for you to be his.

Maybe it was a lot to ask for, especially when you wanted to stay true to your Jedi ways, but it remained to be his biggest dream.


	10. Chapter 10

Even though the Resistance had just won big against the First Order, no one was really celebrating. Luke Skywalker was still missing, and although now you had a way to find him, it was a question of whether or not he would help. Fixing one problem left many others behind, the death of the General’s former partner and other losses along with the fact that the First Order now knew where the Resistance Base was.

You decided to keep your head up, taking the moment after the battle to collect yourself. You were no longer mad at Ben, especially since he just saw his father die in front of him. You didn’t like that he took away your choice, but it was easy to forgive him when nothing bad resulted from it.

“Rey, he’ll be all right, he’s still alive,” You consoled Rey, who was looking over at Finn with concern. 

“I have to go,” Rey replies. 

“I know, I’ll watch over your friend for now,” You pause. “Oh and make sure to say hi to Luke for me, it’s been a while,” You added. She nodded in acknowledgement, heading off with Luke’s old light saber in tow. You sat with Finn for the better part of the evening, you wanted to be there when he woke up to reassure him. 

“Y/N, There you are! Where have you been?” Ben demands. He’s angry that you’re here but he pushes that aside because he’s worried for you, it’s the morning and that means you haven’t slept yet.

“Here, waiting until he wakes up,” You answer. 

“You need to rest, he’s going to be fine there’s plenty of staff to take care of him,” Ben reassures you. 

“I’m fine,” You snap. 

“Please just come and get some breakfast with me, he’s not going anywhere. You still need to take care of yourself, when’s the last time you’ve slept?” Ben lectures you.

“I haven’t,” You say truthfully. “Please,” Ben pleads. “Fine,” You give in, following him to the mess hall.

Reluctantly and at Ben’s insistence you grab a tray full of food, and sit down with him. You’re too tired to talk, eating in silence instead. Ben can tell that you’re about to fall asleep on your plate; satisfied with the amount of food you’ve eaten he moves to help you get up. Full, you feel even more tired, and go along with Ben without protest not realizing that he was leading you to his room.

“Ben where have you taken me? This isn’t the med bay,” You question. 

“I know but you need to sleep, you’re about to pass out. This is my room but since you’ll have to go through a bunch of paperwork to get a place to sleep you can just stay here for now.” 

“Okay, yeah I’m too tired to even argue. Where can I sleep?” You ask. Ben points to his bed, that you basically fall into, falling asleep as soon as you close your eyes. Ben places a blanket over you, taking off your shoes and unclipping your belt. He lays down next to you, picking up something to read while you sleep.

Every once in a while Ben looks over to see you, remembering that you’re sleeping in his bed. One perk of being the General’s son, he got a pretty nice room in Hotel La Resistance. Even if this wasn’t his normal bed, seeing you besides him sleeping with that cute little snore just got him going. It was just so domestic, him reading while you slept soundly next to him, and he fucking loved it.

Eventually he just put down his reading material to watch you, until his peace was rudely interrupted by a knock on the door. He opened it a crack to see his mother at the door, and he stepped out in the hallway. 

“Ben how are you doing?” Leia warmly greets, giving Ben a hug. Ben doesn’t reciprocate, tensing up in his mother’s arms. 

“Fine, what do you want?” He asks tersely. 

“Perhaps to see my own son? That should be enough, I know a lot has happened since I last saw you, want to talk about it?” Leia offers, still speaking warmly.

“No, I’ve already told you I’m fine,” He reiterates. 

“I know you’re not, your father just died you must feel something about it,” Leia continued to pry. Ben sighed; he knew his mother wasn’t going to leave without a proper answer.

“Honestly I don’t know how I feel, I even wanted him dead but it still feels strange, even though he’s gone it still hurts,” Ben confessed. Leia pulled Ben in for a hug again and this time he welcomed it, “I know, and it wasn’t your fault,” She assures him. It feels like a weight is lifted off of his chest, but this was just a step in the long process of healing. 

“Hi Y/N, how are you doing?” Leia says to a very sleepy you, who had just stumbled out into the hall to investigate the noise. 

“Y/N should be sleeping,” Ben reminds you, while crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. 

“Thank you for asking General, I am well. I’m sorry for your loss,” You finish with a yawn. 

“Thanks to you Y/N, my son is still alive. Please go and rest,” Leia smiles. You nod and decide to go back to sleep before you make a fool of yourself. Ben’s chuckling; you were adorable when you were sleepy. Leia turns to Ben with a quizzical look.

“You like her don’t you,” Leia teases. 

“Don’t say anything!” Ben shushes her.

“I knew you would, I’ve never seen a woman upset you like that before,” She says lightheartedly, remembering her own escapades.

“You’re not mad? She’s a Jedi?” Ben blurts out.

“I know but you still like her, the Force is all about life, all about love. It shouldn’t stop you from feeling just because you’re afraid that you’ll suddenly turn to the dark side,” She advises. “You two compliment one another,” She assures.

“Thanks,” Ben sighs in relief. 

“I’ll let you go back to sleeping beauty then, take care of yourself.” 

“I will,” Ben promises. He quietly reenters him room to see you comfortably snuggling with his blankets and pillows. It was a relief because he was worried that you might have heard him admitting that he liked you. 

Later when you wake up you see Ben working out on the clothes in nothing but a pair of loose pants. He’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat, grunting every so often from the exertions of his crunches. And those pants, they were the kind that showed the outline of a guy’s junk, left little to imagination. Boy he was fucking hung. You better stop staring but you couldn’t stop the pleasant burning sensation in your nether regions.

“Y/N, you’re awake,” Ben smirked, noticing that you were checking him out. 

“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t do anything wrong,” You deny. Like a lion, Ben slinks over to you, looking at you like he was about to eat you. 

“Oh no, that look is even worse.” You get up, preparing to make your escape from your predator. You start walking away, slowly increasing your pace into a run. This only encourages Ben; the chase excites him. 

You don’t get far before he encroaches into your personal space, grabbing you and tackling you to the bed. It doesn’t even occur to you to use the force, with your mind all muddled. Ben begins tickling you, making you burst out into laughter. He’s laughing too now, while you’re squirming under him trying to get away. 

“Stop it Ben! Please!” You beg between breaths. 

“Only if you surrender and say that Ben is the sexiest man alive,” He gives his conditions.

“Fine! I surrender, Ben is the sexiest man alive,” You say while still laughing, unable to take him seriously. He stops for a moment, considering whether or not he’ll accept your response.

“Not good enough, say it again princess,” He whispers lowly in your ear, hovering over you so that you can feel some of his weight against you, legs lying in between your straddle. 

“You’re the sexiest man alive,” You stammer out, roses blooming in your cheeks. Ben immediately jumps off you, turning around so that you can’t see his very obvious boner pressing through the thin fabric of his pants.

“I’m going to take a shower,” He mutters. 

“Oh, uh okay,” You reply. It was a bit sudden, a complete switch from his playful flirting earlier. Although you were a bit relieved because if he had persisted, well let’s just say you probably would’ve given in. But you couldn’t, especially with how it made you feel all fuzzy and unfocused, and how could you protect him that way?

When Ben comes out from the shower, in a fresh set of clothes he noticed that you’ve changed as well. You smoothed your hands over your new Resistance clothing, it wasn’t your Jedi robes but these garments were functional and clean. Ben watches your actions, unable to look away from the tightness of those pants, the way the fabric stretched over your breasts. “It looks good on you,” He can’t help but say, curse the flirt in him! What a fucking creep, but stars were you perfect. 

“Ben I’m going to go check on Finn again and then get something to eat, want to come?” You invite him. 

“Sure Babe, I’ll eat dinner with you,” Ben grins.

“Don’t call me Babe, Benny Boy,” You mock. 

“No promises, princess,” He winks. He loved your little nicknames, but you’d never beat him at his own game. You two walked side by side down to the medbay, finding the room where Finn was. There you found that Finn was already awake, and talking with Poe Dameron. 

“Hey Finn, I’m glad to see awake, how are you doing?” You ask, while smiling at him, which of course makes Ben feel jealous. He knows that you’re probably just being nice, but he’s more upset at himself for all the times he rejected your kindness. 

“I’m good, alive. Do you know where Rey went?” He asks. This question makes Ben think, if he was so worried about Rey maybe he shouldn’t be so worried about Finn.

“She went to see Luke Skywalker, I’m sure that she’ll be back for you though, she cares about you. You two have sure become fast friends,” You say.

“Yeah, friends,” Finn mutters. “Thank you Y/N, and you too Ben realized that Finn may just be in the same boat as him, and that he shouldn’t be so worried about him. You were just being nice, he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. He’s about to head out with you before Poe stops you.

“Hey, I could use your help with something, you must have a lot of experience as a Jedi,” Poe asks.

“Sure, what is it?” You question.

“A mission, we’d leave tomorrow. We need to scout out a possible new base since the First Order has our location now, I could use a copilot,” Poe offers.

“Uh, I’m not really the best pilot, I can help with other things though,” You respond, you still want to help.

“I can copilot,” Ben jumps in. “Ben I don’t think-“ You whisper to him but he shushes you.

“I don’t know if the General will agree to this but I’m fine with it,” Poe interrupts.

“I’m an adult, let me help,” Ben demands. “Okay.” Poe lifts up his hands in resignation. You’re annoyed that Ben interrupted you, but you couldn’t really stop him. 

“Alright, we leave tomorrow evening,” Poe informs. You and Ben nod to him in acknowledgement, then making your way to dinner. 

At dinner a bunch of women and a few men come up to you and Ben, beginning to excitedly ask Ben a whole list of questions. Ben doesn’t really want to answer them; he just wanted to eat with you in peace. The fame that he once strived on had quickly become annoying.

“Ben what’s it like being the son of the General?”, “Ben how did you defeat all of your pursuers?”, or “Ben where did you find the time to get such big biceps?” That last one made you almost choke on your water from laughter. Ben glared at you and you finally made up some excuse to get him out of there. 

“I thought you liked all the attention?” You teased.

“No way that was horrible,” He grumbled. You make it back to Ben’s room where he immediately takes of his shirt and pants, before collapsing on the bed. “Okay,” is all you can say to that. Guess you were sleeping with Ben again, but first shower. 

When you came back Ben was asleep, all spread out so that he left little room for you to lie down. You rolled him over so that you could lay down, but as soon as you got comfortable Ben moved over and wrapped himself around you. You didn’t mind much though, he was warm like another set of blankets, and you quickly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're quickly approaching the end, thanks to those of you who have stuck with it!


	11. Chapter 11

Ben woke up to the sound of your soft breathing; your form was perfectly tucked between his arms, with your head nestled under his chin. What happened to cause such a wonderful awakening? Did he finally succeed in seducing you? Oh, you were still fully clothed, probably not. He wouldn’t have let you get dressed after something like that. This was the second time this had happened too, he shouldn’t be so surprised, and he felt like a fool.

Another matter, he had a fucking boner. It wasn’t unusual for Ben, but it sure was annoying. He did not want to take a cold shower and leave your nice warm body all pressed up against him. You stirred slightly so that his erection slid between your butt cheeks. Ben wanted to scream. It was a miracle that he managed to get up so quickly after that when he wanted nothing more then to grind against you.

He was a thirsty guy, who craved sex on the daily, and he needed to express his passion or it would consume him. It was one of the reasons why he ran away, the severely limiting Jedi lifestyle was tearing him apart from the inside. Even as a Senator he still wanted more, feeling as if he had nothing when he had everything.  
Despite the fact that the New Republic had been destroyed, Ben felt next to nothing about the loss of his career, with you next to him he felt better then he ever did as the hottest Senator. Although he was very sexually frustrated, he could deal with that, he could even live with it if it meant seeing you. It was torturous sure, but maybe he could get used to these frequent cold showers.

Maybe if he were lucky it wouldn’t always be like this for him, maybe you’d let him take you out to dinner sometime and call you his girlfriend. It was a lot of maybe’s but Ben had hope, he knew you weren’t completely turned off by him, What he didn’t know was just how much you liked him, and you didn’t really either. You locked those feelings away in a box and threw away the key, though unfortunately for you that box was about to burst.

When you woke your first though was ‘Where is Ben?’, the sound of water answered your question. You didn’t want to admit it, but you missed the comfort of his arms, they brought you peace that you could usually only achieve through deep meditation.

“Good morning Y/N,” Ben addresses, coming right out of the shower only in a towel. You can’t help but ogle his chest, the way that the water beaded on his skin, the flexing of his muscles. He catches your staring, it makes his heart feel faster and skin feel flush. He meets it with a smirk, before throwing off his towel and displaying all of his naked glory.

This wasn’t the first time, but you can’t remember it affecting you this much. You cover your eyes, “Ben you can’t be naked in here!” You shrieked.

“I can be as naked as I want in my own room,” He quips.

“Not while I’m here!” You argue.

“Come on Babe, don’t be like that. I know you love it,” He flirts. He kind of loved when you were frustrated with him, loved driving you crazy, all so you can give him your undivided attention.

“You’re impossible,” You huff, eyes still closed. You don’t notice him come up to you until you can feel his breath across your face. Your eyes snap open, Ben’s face is inches from yours and he’s biting his bottom lip. His eyes are wide and wanting, one hand resting on the mattress as he hovers over you.

“What are you doing?” You question. He doesn’t say anything, his eyes focused on your lips. You think that he’s about to lean in for a kiss, and you didn’t know if you would let him or if you would push him away, but you didn’t have the chance as he ended up pulling away. 

“Ben I’m going to go outside for some meditation, maybe some training afterwards,” You say after getting ready.

“Can I come?” He pleads. He wants to watch you train, especially in that tight outfit of yours. He also wants to watch your back just in case something might happen; he was still a bit on edge over Starkiller. Right now he didn’t want to leave your side, and he was feeling particularly needy today.

“Sure, bring your light saber though,” You say. Once you and Ben reach a clearing outside of the base you guide him to sit down.

“Look Ben, I’m not going to force you to meditate or teach you how when you know. Just try, it’s always good to clear you head,” You suggest to him.

“Okay,” He replies. Ben closes his eyes, trying to clear his head and take deep breaths. He tries visualizing the force, flowing through him with every breath. It feels like the force is tugging him, naturally like scratching an itch he follows it.

He could see you, it was a bit blurry but he could tell you were smiling. You looked a bit tired, though your joy was plain on your face, you were even crying. Then he noticed what you were wearing, a white dress, you looked so beautiful. He understood, you were getting married, his heart hurt at the thought of that.  
But it was your special day; he should smile too, so he did. You were saying something to him, but he didn’t know what it was, couldn’t make it out. Then he moved his hand out, slipped something over one of your fingers; it was a ring. What? Suddenly Ben was roughly thrown back to reality.

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to go back. God he wanted it to be real, more than anything, he was about to kiss you too. Giving up he opened his eyes; you were still meditating. He sighed and lied back against the grassy terrain, more practiced force users would know what he just saw was a force vision, but Ben who was out of practice believed it was just one of his elaborate fantasies. 

“Alright Ben, now it’s time to do some more physical training. I have a workout that I usually go through, you can follow along if you’d like,” You address. With that you begin your routine, guiding Ben and showing him the different moves. It was high intensity interval training, the kind that allowed you to miss working out some days. Quickly, the two of you built up a sweat. At the end of it you were both panting and sweaty, lying against the grass.

“Would you like to go over some Light Saber moves with me?” You ask Ben. He obliges, igniting the luminescent blade. You start off with some pretty basic moves, but seeing how Ben can complete them perfectly you begin to increase their difficulty. He’s kept up with you almost perfectly, making little to no mistakes.

“You’re really impressing me Ben, you have a lot of natural ability and even without practice you’re still at such an advanced level,” You compliment. It makes him feel shy, he doesn’t even know what to say, he’s not used to hearing praise from you.

“Uh thanks,” He stammers, messing with his hair. Seeing how his hair hangs over his eyes, you hand him a hair tie, he thanks you again, pulling back his sweaty mane. Now he didn’t have to keep on pushing back his hair with his hand.

The battle continues, with added confidence, Ben becomes much more aggressive with his hits and parries. He’s a powerhouse, the combination of the force and his sheer physical strength was deafening. You’re pulling out all of your tricks, where you can’t match him in strength you beat him agility.

He loves it, the rush of the fight, the feeling of the force flowing through him. It’s freeing, one of his favorite things to do as a Padawan, something that he was scolded for enjoying so much. Now free from the constraints of the Jedi, he was finally free to fight the way he wanted, aggressive and unpredictable. 

You’ve never had to deal with this fighting style before, it was much more challenging then facing fellow Jedi Knights, it was like going up against a Master. It was difficult, but exciting nonetheless. There was an underlying sexual tension, Ben could sense it, the way that it surrounded you two like a thick cloud. 

This time he wins the spar, disarming your weapon. He throws his own saber to the side, then he pounces on you. He runs at you, scooping you up and on his shoulder, continuing his direction to a lake nearby.

“Ben put me down!” You yell at him, hitting his back with your fists. He just laughs at you, tightening his hold. Okay, maybe you could use the force. You concentrate for a moment, focusing your energy, with a wave of a hand you make Ben fall and drop you.

“Not fair Y/N,” Ben huffs.

“You’re the one who decided that it’d be a good idea to pick me up,” You chuckle. He begins laughing with you, rolling over on his side to face you. It’s a lovely moment, but it doesn’t last.

“Look at you two fooling around in the grass together, I’ve been looking all over the base for you guys!” Poe interjects.

“We’re not fooling around, we were training,” Ben justifies.  
“Sure,” Poe says with sarcasm.

“What do you need Poe?” You ask, wanting to change the direction of the conversation.

“We’re going to have to leave earlier, I need you guys to meet me in the hangar in an hour,” Poe explains.  
“Okay, we’ll be there,” You reply. It makes Ben realize something, how formal you can be with other people. You were like that with him at thee beginning too, until you began to open up to him. It made him feel good knowing that you didn’t see him so much as a job, that you acted more like yourself and less as a perfect Jedi.  
An hour later in the hangar, you meet up with Poe, because there’s more of you you’re taking a bigger ship. Of course BB-8 still comes along for the ride, chirping happily next to Poe. After a quick greeting, you board the ship. You sit behind Poe and Ben, filling the space between them. They begin flipping switches and before for you know it the base is far behind you. 

The first planet is very beautiful, crystal clear water that appears green from all of the flourishing plants. It’s a small system with no inhabitants, except for the remains of where they lived. Ben finds a pretty flower and gives it to you with a warm smile.

“If I knew I’d be third-wheeling with you guys I would’ve invited another person,” Poe remarks.

“Don’t be jealous,” Ben jokes, placing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. 

“I’m curious, how long have you two been together? You seem really close,” Poe asks. You’re surprised that he thought you were partners, you didn’t think that you were that touchy. You were just comfortable around each other.

“It hasn’t been long, but it’s been really great. I can’t believe how fast our relationship has grown,” Ben answered. Though he wasn’t lying, the way he said it made it sound like you were in a relationship, when really you didn’t even know what to call it. Friends by accident? You didn’t really know, choosing not to dwell on it. 

“As much as I complain, you guys are pretty cute, I can tell that you really like each other,” Poe adds. This makes both you and Ben blush, Ben because of that fact that Poe thought you liked him, and you because you were embarrassed of your own feelings.

“What do you think about this system for a base?” You ask Poe, immediately changing the subject.  
“Well it’s good because there are relatively few people, bad because there’s few places to land so that would mean a lot of construction. We may not have that much time,” He explains. This isn’t the first option, and with that you’re off to the next system.

During travel Ben tries to teach you how to play Dejarik, which confuses you greatly. He’s really good at it, the game being one of the few things that he learned from his father. It means that you lose horribly, but it’s still a fun way to pass the time.

The next few systems are either hit or miss, and one of them is so dangerous that you almost get stranded there. What you thought was a peaceful, generally flat grassy landscape was instead a planet constantly barraged by storms, the kind with lightning and strong winds. Another one is filled with vast jungles and hostile species and the last system you visit is tidally locked and filled with rocky mountains. 

It’s very late by the time that you get back to the Resistance Base, Poe leaves to enter some of the data that you collected while you and Ben retire for the evening. You’re still thinking about the conversation that you had with Ben and Poe, it was too late to talk about it now but it was necessary. A Jedi and a Senator? It could never happen, you didn’t want anything bad to happen because you let your feelings take control.


	12. Chapter 12

Blue and red flashes, the blaring sound of an alarm. The Resistance was under attack. You woke up with a start, cringing at the awful sound that made you leave your peaceful slumber. The urge to go back to sleep was heavy, you could barely keep you eye open, but the piercing sound of the alarm kept your mind awake. 

You looked over to Ben who seemed to be miraculously sleeping through it, and who also had an arm secured around your body. You wrestled yourself free from his grasp and left the bed, ironically this is what woke him up, not the awful alarm. 

“Ugh baby, come back to bed,” Ben says hoarsely, voice thick with sleep. 

“Do you not here what is happening? And don’t call me baby!” You nearly shout at him. Slowly Ben catches on, jumping up when he finally realizes. 

“Y/N! What are you doing? We gotta go,” He urges, grabbing your hand to lead you out of the base.

“What am I doing? You’re such a brat Ben!” You reply angrily, interrupting your sleep already made you grumpy as it is, he sure wasn’t helping. Before you know it you’re being hoisted up over Ben’s shoulders, as he carries you and your small bag of belongings (including both of the light sabers) all the way to the hangar. 

Resistance members are scattered, the base is under attack, guess it was time to leave this system. Orders are being shouted over the chaos, scatter, we will reunite when the time comes. The General stands among them, the obvious leader, seeing you and Ben she runs up to you. 

She wants to tell you to look after your son, but it just doesn’t seem right, especially with the way that he’s carrying you. Her heart warms at the fact that he finally found someone that he cares for, someone he’d want to protect. In some ways it reminded Leia of her own relationship with Han, she just hoped Ben was smart enough not to let you go. Luckily she just manages to catch up to you, chuckling as she saw you yelling at Ben, ahh young love. 

“Hey you two!” She calls your attention. Ben finally puts you down. He walks over to you, pulling you with him by the hand. “I just wanted to say May the Force be with you, and watch out for each other,” She says. 

“May the Force be with you,” You and Ben reply. With that, it’s the two of you together again, alone in a sea of scorching stars. You sigh in relief, glad that you avoided any major conflicts. You already had enough problems to deal with from Ben alone, you didn’t have enough energy to deal with anything else this early in the day. 

“Y/N, why don’t you try and get some more sleep, I’ll wake you if I need your help,” Ben suggests. 

“I don’t know if I can go to sleep after that, but I could use some caffeine,” You reply.

“Just close your eyes, okay?” He asks. 

“Fine,” You breathe. You close your eyes and try and regain some semblance of sleep. After some time passes you feel the gentle weight of Ben’s jacket placed over you like a blanket. It smelled like his cologne in combination with his natural scent, which was something that you were really beginning to love as much as you hated to admit it. His scent comforted you and helped you finally get to sleep. 

Ben smiled over at you, all snuggled up in his jacket. He wished he could get some more sleep himself but he had to get you to safety first, and that was more then enough to keep you awake. It felt good to have someone to protect, someone that made him smile. He never believed that he would ever find anyone like this; he thought that he’d be a bachelor forever, always on his own. But here you were, sleeping in the chair next to him with his jacket. 

He thought of his dream, of that beautiful dress that you wore. He wished it could be true, wished it could be his future. He wanted to be everything to you, your friend, husband, lover, and dare say the father of your children. He wished to be able to freely hold you in his arms so that he could feel the warmth of you against it and run his fingers through your hair. He wanted all this and more, to kiss you, to have you, and biggest of all to love you. 

You finally reach the ground again; it’s the same place that Ben chose before Starkiller base happened. You’re still asleep, so Ben carries you back instead of waking you. Tempted by your peaceful visage, he decides to lay next to you and eventually falls asleep to the steady sound of your breath. In his sleep he wraps around you, subconsciously acting on his desires. 

When you wake, you feel much more fully rested. It isn’t long before you realize that Ben’s clinging to you like a python, head buried against your neck. It’s all too much, you can’t delay it anymore, and you need to say something to him. 

“Ben,” You say softly. He stirs, stretching out against you. 

“Hmm that was a nice nap,” He yawns.

“Ben I need to talk to you about something,” 

“Sure, what is it sweetheart?” He asks; eyes filled with hope. 

“We can’t-I can’t keep on doing this,” 

“What do you mean Y/N?” He questions. 

“I mean that you can’t keep on cuddling with me, friends don’t really do that with each other. Especially ones who haven’t known each other for long,” You point out. 

“Friends? I don’t-why not?” He doesn’t understand. 

“Look, you don’t want me to be your friend, I know your feelings for me. You want more then I can give you, I’m sorry,” You explain. 

“Y/N I don’t, please,” He pleads desperately. He knows what you mean; you’re rejecting him, completely. His dream is crushed, despair washes over him. 

“You know I can’t, you know as well as anyone that a Jedi vows to abstain from such relationships, such dangerous passions can lead to the dark side,” You repeat the teachings of your Jedi Master.

“No, you’re wrong. You’re not going to suddenly become a Sith Lord if you kiss me, but I don’t think I can even stand to look at you if you’re unwilling to even let you be my friend,” Ben all but shouts. His eyes shine with tears and suddenly he gets up and leaves the room. 

“Ben wait, I don’t want-“ You’re interrupted by the slam of the door. You didn’t think he’d react so negatively, you knew he was attracted to you, like he’d never been rejected in his life. 

Ben was absolutely furious, hurt that you found your Jedi principles more important then him. Would you have given him a chance if you weren’t a Jedi? Maybe, though it seemed like you’d never let him find out. He thought that your relationship was more meaningful than that, he had opened up to you more then he had to anyone in a long time. Sure he didn’t think that you’d accept his love for certain, but he didn’t think you’d reject it so cruelly. 

What hurt most was that you basically equated all of his feelings to be the cause of turning to the dark side. It didn’t make sense, the galaxy, the force even, wasn’t just light and dark. Light could be so bright that it blinds, it could be warm, colorful or colorless, light is a spectrum and the force was the same. 

It was raining outside but Ben didn’t care, he embraced the cooling relief on his hot face. He kept on moving, hoping to get far enough away from you so that you couldn’t find him. 

You wanted to go after him, and were about to, when unexpected company arrived. You were caught off guard before you could grab your light saber, cuffed in force preventative restraints before you could do anything. When you craned your neck to see your captor you saw a familiar face, it was fucking Gromon. 

“Look what we have here? Little Jedi all tied up, who’s going to protect Ben now?” He sneers at you. 

“What are you doing here? What could you possibly gain, the senate’s destroyed!” You yell. 

“Exactly, so now I can get my much deserved revenge,” He laughs. You’re disgusted with this man, his shameless corruption and filth. You squirm away as he runs a finger along the underside of your face.

“Pretty thing, no wonder he keeps you around. I bet you’re a good fuck under all those robes,” He mocks.

“Go jump in a Sarlaac Pit,” You spit out. Gromon and his goblins laugh, amused with your answer. 

“I don’t think I will, I think instead I’ll go and find Ben and make him watch as I destroy his little Jedi,” He threatens. You don’t give him the satisfaction of crying and make your face impassive, trying to formulate a way to escape instead. His henchmen leave, and you’re left alone with Gromon himself, who continues to mock you with filthy words. Though Gromon has restrained your hands he hasn’t completely restrained your thoughts, and with the best of your ability you try and reach out to Ben.

It feels like a nudge on his mind, he ignores at first, until an unsettling feeling washes over him. Something’s wrong. He turns back, breaking out into a sprint to get back to you faster. If anything happens to you, he’d never forgive himself.   
All you could do is wait and hope that Ben would come for you, there was nothing you could do here, not with Gromon watching over you like a hawk. It gave you a moment to reflect about your confrontation with Ben earlier, wonder if it could of gone any better. Was it okay to cuddle with someone who was a friend? To pursuit one’s passion as a Jedi? You were uncertain, but you did know that traditional teachings would say no. 

But you couldn’t help but think, how much you enjoyed the feeling of resting in Ben’s arms. How your heart beat whenever he called you one of those nicknames (though you wouldn’t give him the power of that knowledge). How his lips would feel against yours, soft and warm. 

Doubt sprang in your mind; upon thinking it would be hard to foresee yourself turning to the dark side so easily. Your beliefs were set, and more so you didn’t know if you could necessarily divide the force so easily into the light and dark. The force was much more abstract then that; sure you could train a certain way depending on ancient teachings. But you had more faith in yourself then that to turn to the dark side so easily. 

Ben approaches with caution, sensing multiple presences as he gets closer to the house. He doesn’t have a weapon on him, but maybe he can surprise them. He uses the force to grab a blaster from on of the guards and disarms the other one. In their confusion they try and find what could cause something so strange to happen and in their stupor he knocks them out with the stun setting of the blaster. 

Before Gromon could lay another filthy finger on you, Ben bursts in and tackles him to the ground, using his blaster to hit him across the face. “Filthy fucking snake, you just couldn’t stay away huh?” He snarls at him. 

“Ben, we were just playing, see she’s fine,” He answers nervously. 

“You just couldn’t let it go huh, you’re gonna regret it,” He growls, kicking him in the gut. 

“Ben uh could you let me go?” You ask. 

“Oh yeah, sorry princess.” He turns to you and quickly unties your binds. “You okay?” He checks in. 

“I’m fine, just a bit shaken up,” You reply. “What should we do with him?” You ask. 

“I know what I’d like to do, he doesn’t deserve to live,” Ben frowns at him. 

“You don’t have the guts,” Gromon taunts. Before he can breathe Ben shoots, making his decision. 

“Ben!” You yell, seeing the life quickly drain from the man. “You killed him,” You state. 

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s one of the worst people that I’ve had the displeasure of knowing, and he’d never leave us alone,” He justifies. 

“I just don’t, you could of done something else, you didn’t have to kill him,” 

“You may not understand, but I know that man, he would come back to haunt us. Just trust me,” He tries to persuade you. 

“I may not agree with you, but I can’t say I’m not relieved,” You tell the truth.

“Come here,” Ben urges. You oblige, and he pulls you into his arms. You welcome his comfort; you needed it after such a stressful event. “I’m going to go deal with the other guys, yell if you need me or something,” He directs. You nod and he leaves you to yourself. 

You decide to wash you face in hands, from the tears and from the remnants of Gromon’s touch. Even though he killed him, with the Galaxy basically entering a state of war, you understood his actions. You weren’t that much of a moral compass. Though you were surprised that Ben would do something so drastic just to protect you, it meant that his feelings for you must be more serious than you thought. 

“I’m back, I’ve taken care of it, and no I didn’t kill them or anything.” Ben returns.

“Oh good, Ben we need to continue our conversation from earlier. I feel uncertain about it,” You address. 

“Uncertain? Can you clarify that?” He asks. 

“I may be having some doubts, about our relationship, even about myself. I know what I said before, but I also know how I feel, and I can’t help be afraid that those feelings will take control of me,” You explain. 

“Oh Y/N, don’t be afraid. It’s not wrong for you to feel such things, anger, love, desire…” He cups your face. “It’s only natural,” He leans in so he’s speaking against your lips. “You don’t have to try and be so perfect, I love you the way you are,” He admits. 

“Ben,” You gasp at his confession. His lips gently press against yours, sharing their soft warmth. You kiss him back, just as softly, entangling your hands in his hair. 

“It feels so good,” He pauses to kiss you, “ “So right,” He continues. “I love you so much I can hardly contain myself,” He breathes, this time kissing you hungrily. He wraps an arm tightly around your waist and deepens the kiss, while a thumb rests below your jaw, fingers curled behind your neck. “Mmm” You sigh against his lips. 

“You know I even dreamed about you, that one time you told me to meditate I had the most vivid dream of us getting married,” He admits. 

“Wait? When you were meditating, did you feel the force when you were dreaming,” You reply.

“Yeah but I always feel it,” He brushes it off. 

“Ben, that was probably a vision. I wouldn’t be surprised you’re very powerful in the force. That actually makes me feel a lot better,” You smile.

“Really? So that means we’re going get married, baby I don’t know things might be moving a little fast,” He teases. 

“Oh shut up,” You lightly hit his arm. 

“You better get used to it if you’re going to be my wife, princess,” He laughs. 

“Just shut up and kiss me why don’t you?” You urge. 

“Of course Y/N, anything for my princess,” He obliges. You roll your eyes but smile as he kisses you again, snaking your arms around his neck. You never imagined that this scoundrel of a senator could be so sweet, even if he was a bit of a brat, you loved him all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those who have followed this story so part, the next chapter is going to be mainly nsfw content so if that’s not your cup of tea I hope you liked this. It’s been my passion project, probably the longest story I’ve ever committed too so thanks for sticking with me.


	13. Chapter 13

It was a few months after Ben first kissed you and things were going pretty well. The new Resistance base was going well and you were helping Ben strengthen his skills in the force. Your dynamic hadn’t even changed that much, the main thing being that you were much nicer and more affectionate with him. 

He could be quite the romantic, or as you called it a complete and utter cheese ball, he was almost sickeningly sweet with you. He still continued to call you obnoxious pet names and cuddle with you but now he would make a grand display of it. Ben was extremely affectionate with you, always bursting at the seams with his feelings for you. 

“God you’re gorgeous princess, so damn beautiful, I’m so lucky to have met you,” He will say to you, eyes wide with love and affection. He’ll take your hand and brush his lips against your knuckles or nuzzle your cheek, surprise you by wrapping his arms around you from behind. You made him feel like a pile of mush and he made you feel like you were going to float away. 

“Ben what am I going to do with you?” You’ll say to him, mussing his hair. He’ll be on his datapad next to you, putting it down to listen to you. He’ll chuckle then roll over so that he’s hovering above you and say, “I don’t know princess, but I think you could use a good kiss.” Then he’ll lean down and kiss you passionately, breaking away before it can lead to anything more. You give him puppy dog eyes, pout your lips and try to get him to continue; usually he’ll just roll over and return to what he was doing.

You don’t like it, you know it’s because Ben says that he wants to make your first time together special, unlike some of his past encounters. You’ve tried to convince him but he remains adamant, it’s even led to a few fights between you two so you’ve decided to drop it and try and be patient. Even though it felt like you had already waited a lifetime for this. 

You didn’t know that Ben was just as impatient as you were, there were so many moments where he just wanted to grab you away from whatever you were doing and have his way with you. He couldn’t do it, as much as he wanted it more than anything he still felt like he needed to impress you and make it the best night of your life. 

You were a queen in his eyes and he was just a commoner trying to do justice to your beauty. There was nothing that you could say that could convince him that you shouldn’t have anything but the best. If it meant torturing himself just a little bit longer, so be it.

The furthest you’ve really gone with each other is grinding on one another during kissing but Ben really held himself back with you. The tension was almost unbearable at this point. Everything that he did was a turn on, his stupid smirk, the way he ran his hands through his hair when he was nervous, how he looked at you when you spoke, it was all too much. 

It was hard because Ben never felt like he spent enough time with you, he had begun assuming more responsibilities around the base, and with the return of your Master you were busy as well. Often times he would come back late in the evening to finally see you return from a mission, and of course you’d be fast asleep. Although he loved snuggling up next to you, he preferred for you to be awake. 

“I’ve missed you Y/N.” It was a phrase that he was repeating a lot as of late. He just wished this good for nothing war could be over so that he could settle down with you and finally devote the attention to you that he craved so deeply. You’ll smile back at him and give him a great big hug, and he’d hold you as long as he could before you eventually had to leave again. 

It was starting to make him feel a little down; when he imagined being with you he didn’t think it would be like this, he felt like an inadequate partner. Leia notices Ben’s unusually depressed demeanor, there was just such a huge difference between when you were around and when you were gone. She could sense that it was starting to take a toll on him. 

“Ben, I know it’s hard but she’s going to come back to you, she loves you. I can tell,” Leia reassures him. Ben just shakes his head, it was more then that, even if you did return it didn’t feel like it was for long at all. His time spent with you was so fleeting, he felt selfish for it but he needed to be with you more then this. 

“Thank you mom, but it doesn’t change anything. Because of this damn war I never see her anymore! It’s just so frustrating,” He expresses. Leia nods in understanding, she could relate to his struggle. She felt sympathy but at the same time she was happy to see that he cared for you, she didn’t want him to repeat the mistakes with her own relationship. 

“I know it may seem like it’s not going to end, but we will persevere. Then you and Y/N can settle down together and give me loads of grandkids. Just trust me Ben, and be patient,” She advised. Ben blushed at the mention of children he couldn’t deny that he hadn’t thought that far ahead into the future, of course that required something else to occur first. 

“Oh don’t be embarrassed, how do you think you happened?” She teases. “Ugh don’t remind me,” Ben groans. 

“You’re acting like you haven’t even had sex yet, you’re so different then the man I used to know.” Ben blushes even more, which confirms her suspicions. 

“Oh I see, you actually haven’t had sex with her yet!” She says. “Shhh! The whole base can hear you!” Ben whisper yells. Leia laughs at her son’s embarrassment, unfortunately for him it was a parent’s job to make their kids feel this way. 

“Well what are you waiting for? I’m surprised that you haven’t gone mad at this point,” She jokes. 

Ben sighs, “I’m just trying to make it perfect? Okay? Are you happy?” 

“Oh Benny, you’re such a sap when you’re in love. You two are really great for each other,” She compliments. 

“Great? I uh, thanks,” He replies, not really knowing how to respond to that. He did know that it made him feel much better about his relationship. “I better go, I think I’m going to try and see if I can talk to Y/N, bye.” Ben leaves. This gives Leia an idea, maybe it was a little bit evil, but it’d definitely work. First she’d have to make a few calls.

It looked like your mission was getting cut short, thanks to some mysterious excuse from Luke that you didn’t really believe. You wanted to go and find Ben and tell him the news, but you were instructed not to and to instead meet with the General. You had a feeling she had some kind of plan. 

“Hello General, it’s nice to see you again,” You greet. 

“Don’t call me General, call me Leia. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this but you’re like a daughter to me! Please Y/N,” She asked. 

“If that’s what you wish Leia, I was wondering why you wanted to see me so urgently,” You query. 

“Of course, why I called you here. It’s about Ben,” She starts off. 

“Is he okay?” You jump in, something must be wrong.

“He’s fine, he just misses you, a lot. He’s starting to get a bit mopey,” She explains. 

“Oh I see. What can I do?” You offer; you wanted to help him. 

“I want you to surprise him, I’m sending him off to Naboo to meet with some Senators, at least that’s what I’ve told him. I want you to meet him there, and I want you to wear this, if you so choose.” She hands you a bag, you peak inside and can tell that there’s an extravagant dress in there, along with some undergarments to match. It’s a lovely soft pale blue, Ben’s favorite color of course. 

“Oh Leia, I can’t accept this. It’s too much! I don’t know if I can do this.” You’re beginning to doubt yourself, you want to but you don’t know if you have the confidence for it. 

“Of course you can! Besides, the two of you could use a break, you’ve done so much already,” She encourages you. 

“This is… I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” You embrace her in a hug, she reciprocates it gladly, and she really did see you as a daughter and hoped that one day you’d officially be apart of her family. 

You leave her to go to the ship hangar and fly to your destination, Leia ad already given you everything that you might need as she didn’t want you to run into Ben and spoil the surprise before you left. Luckily someone was there to fly for you while you had the chance to get ready. The dress fit perfectly, the soft fabric hugged your body. The neckline wasn’t super revealing, just enough to tease. It was relatively modest, but based on Ben’s reaction the first time he saw you in a dress, this would drive him wild. You just hoped it was enough. 

As Ben believed that he was meeting with former Senators, he was also dressed formally. He enjoyed the feeling of his finer clothes against his skin, almost missed it, though he didn’t care for them in the same way anymore. He didn’t like going away at the off chance of missing your return, but as his mother stressed this mission was incredibly important and he had to do it. With a fresh shaven face and coordinated clothes, Ben was ready to go, not far behind you. 

“It’s beautiful,” You say aloud, and it was. You were brought to a gorgeous villa right on the water, you couldn’t believe Leia had planned all this out for you two. 

Right, now where’s the bedroom? 

Ben arrives about an hour later, taking a moment to admire the scenery. I wish Y/N were here, he thinks. This would be the perfect place to take you. As he entered the villa he called inside, no response. He was alone. 

Wait. Was that music? In the distance he could here some soft jazz, it must be from upstairs. He decided to see where it was coming from. Maybe someone forgot to turn off their music player. 

You didn’t really know how to position yourself, this all felt so new to you. You thought that maybe you’d lie on the bed, but that just was not you. You decided to stand, watching the flickering candles and waiting for Ben to arrive. He was here. You could sense it. To the best of your ability you masked your presence from him. 

The doorknob began to turn. You took a breath. 

“Surprise!” You threw your arms up in the air and greeted Ben. You couldn’t help but smile, seeing him again, he looked so handsome in his senator garb. Your doubts about this were beginning to lessen, especially with that look on his face. 

Oh fuck, was Ben’s first thought seeing you. He should’ve expected something like this, he had a feeling his mother had something to do with it. He swallowed thickly before speaking. 

“Y/N, you look, stars you look so good. I can’t believe you’re here!” He states his bewilderment. And that dress, force be with him he wanted to tear it to shreds. More so his heart was beating rapidly, he felt so loved by you and he almost wanted to cry tears of joy. No, better hold yourself back. 

In a few strides he’s lifted you in his arms and spun you in a circle, holding you so tightly that you feel breathless. “Oh I’ve missed you baby, I’ve missed you so much!” He says to you, in between placing quick pecks along your neckline. You ruffle his hair as a sign of affection and he nuzzles against your cheek, holy sith how you loved when he did that. 

“Well what are you waiting for? Kiss me,” You demand. Ben eagerly complies, sealing your lips with a searing kiss. You melt right there, all that’s keeping you from falling is a secure hold around your middle. It felt amazing; your mind was already beginning to feel a gentle buzz of pleasure from his kiss alone. 

You slide your hand that was wrapped around his bicep up behind his neck, to support your weak knees. Ben gently guides you to the bed for a more comfortable position. He even places a pillow behind you neck. He regards you with a look of wonder with his soft brown eyes; there was no doubting how he felt about you. 

“Ben, please. I can’t wait anymore,” You plead. 

“Of course sweetheart, truthfully I don’t think I can wait anymore either. I was starting to get squirrely. Let me take care of you tonight,” He coos, fingers running across the straps of your dress. You give your consent and he slowly pulls the strap down and off your arm, taking the time to kiss the exposed skin there. You inhale sharply at his ministrations. You could barely take it. 

Ben smirks at your reaction; he could tell you were enjoying this, maybe not just as much as he was. He takes off his coat, both of your shoes, and loosens his undershirt before going any further. He hesitates for a moment, and then unzips the back of your dress, pulling it down your body inch by inch. He stops at your waist, already feeling overwhelmed at the sight of your lace-covered breasts. “I’m so fucked,” He curses, looking down at you. You laugh at him and he realizes his mistake.

“Oh shit did I say that out loud?” 

“Yes Ben, you did,” You laugh. He groans in humiliation, and then jolts back when he realizes that he just put his face against your chest. Get yourself together! Ugh but it felt so soft and nice, if he didn’t have a hard on before he definitely had one now.

“You’re perfect, you know that right?” He asks, after composing himself. 

“And you’re impossible, come one let’s get on with it,” You urge. Ben kisses you softly on the lips, loving that you were still being yourself, even if your relationship with him had changed. 

He traces the skin of your sides lightly before resting just below your bra. He stares at your chest for a few seconds, hypnotized by the pale blue lace before finally dipping down to lavish your skin there. He doesn’t take off your bra just yet, after all it looked so pretty on you, of course what was underneath was even better but he wanted to take his time with you. 

He softly places his hands over your breasts, lightly squeezing them under the fabric. He begins to massage them, looking like a kid caught in a candy store. Meanwhile you could feel his hard on poking your thigh, deciding to get some revenge to move your hand down the length of it. Ben reacts immediately, whimpering and almost collapsing on top of you, he was so turned on right now. 

“Y/N, do not. Don’t do that,” He tells you, grabbing your wrists and placing them above your head so that you can’t touch him like that again. You’re feeling adventurous and pretty naughty so you decide to roll you hips against him making him release your wrists. 

“Do what? This?” You tease, repeating the action. Ben’s breathing heavily now, arms bracing himself besides you with his head facing down, he wants to scream right now. He musters his strength and grabs your wrists again, distracting you with a hungry kiss. You try rolling your hips against him again but this time he reciprocates it, making a friction so delicious that you can’t help but moan yourself. 

“What a glorious sound you just made princess,” Ben teases, speaking right above your mouth. He moves his hands behind you and frees your breasts from their constraints; giving you a wolfish grin, time to have some real fun. He admires them before taking action, making work of one with his hand and the other with his mouth. It feels lovely, but you want more, signaling it by the movement of your hips. 

“Be patient,” He all but growls, little by little Ben’s control dwindled. He places one hand on your hip to keep you still. He continues to kiss your breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth with a suck, and leaving marks in his wake. He wanted to leave reminders on your body of his presence, as crazy as it sounded. 

You were just about ready to start touching yourself when Ben finally shifted his focus away from your breasts. He moved back so that he was right in front of your panties, resting in between your thighs. He looks up at you as he places a kiss over the wet spot, making you squirm. He chuckles darkly at your desperation, he loved seeing you like this, all hot for him. He kisses the spot again, this time running his tongue over it. 

He really wants to just bury his face in between your legs and go to town, because you smell absolutely divine, but he won’t do that this round. He circles the most sensitive part with a finger, giving you the touch that you craved. Unfortunately for you he doesn’t do it for long, getting up and off of the bed. 

“Ben! What the hell?” You whine, sitting straight up. 

“Relax baby, lie back down. I just need to take off the rest of my clothes, it’s too hot,” He explains. 

“Oh no, I am watching this,” You say, sitting up so you can see him. You enjoy as he slowly pulls up his own shirt, exposing the trail of hair that leads to his nether regions. He’s not doing it as quickly as he would on his own, but he’s not making a show out of it either as he was growing impatient as well. Finally, his pants fall to the floor. He leaves his underwear on, though you have a pretty good idea what lies underneath due to his protruding erection. 

Soon he’s on top of you again, kissing you vigorously, slipping his tongue into your open mouth. A hand slides down your body before talking a palm full of your ass and squeezing it, taking your panties away in his grasp as he slides them down your legs. He throws them aside without looking, too entranced by your now complete nudity. 

“I love you,” He says gravely. 

“I love you too, more then I will love any other man.” 

“Well thank force for that” He sighs in relief; he sure wouldn’t want the alternative. 

“I’m ready Ben,” You tell him, urging him to continue. He nods and takes off his own underwear, not wasting much time after putting on the proper protection before entering you. You both gasp at the feeling, it was a lot to take in but at the same time it felt so good to be close to him like this. It took Ben some time before he could move; it was so overwhelming that he had to make sure that he could last because he almost came right then and there. 

“Y/N you feel like a dream,” He praises. He secures his position above you and then begins to move, slowly at first to gather his bearings. He increases his paces so that it’s not entirely slow, but not that he’s jackhammering in to you. As his hips cant he tries to rub against your clit so that you can reach your peak with him. 

You’re both moaning, making guttural sounds of pleasure that only get louder as it goes on. The soft music in the background is completely drowned out; it’s just the two of you now. “Oh Y/N, I think I’m gonna cum, I’m going to change my angle a bit so I can properly touch you. Wrap your legs around me, yes just like that. Good princess,” He purrs. 

You begin to reach a higher plain of pleasure, the one right before your orgasm. Ben comes first, unable to hold back any longer, but he continues to touch you. It was almost impossible that you would cum at the same time, but he would make sure that you both did. He rubs your clit quickly, and you finally reach that point, your walls contracting around him. 

He pulls out and discards the protection, collapsing against your side. “I can’t believe I waited so long to do that, good thing we have a few days because I want to make up for the lost time,” He remarks, brushing back his sweaty hair. 

“Well that one is on you,” You counter. 

“I don’t know. I seem to remember months and months of you denying your feelings for me. This could’ve happened a long time ago,” He recalls. 

“Oh yeah well what about the month’s of you saying ‘It has to be perfect Y/N, princess of the galaxy, destroyer of worlds,” You mock him.

“Hey I do not talk like that, and I know you love when I call you princess don’t you deny it,” He points out. 

“Hmm, I don’t seem to remember denying it,” 

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you suddenly forgot the thousands of times that you told me to not call you princess or baby and I did it anyways cause I knew it would annoy you!” He admits.

“Aha! I knew you were trying to annoy me.” 

“I’ll do anything to get a rise out of you baby,” He drawls out. 

“I know, but I don’t think I mind your attentions seeking behavior so much anymore,” You confess. 

“Good, because you make me feel exceedingly needy as of late.” You shake your head at him and he pulls you into his chest so that one hand rests in your hair and another on your waist, lips close to your forehead. He places a kiss there before stilling his movements, it was late and you needed to rest.

“Sweet dreams, my Jedi Knight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you guys, I’m going to cry I can’t believe I made it this far and that it’s over! Thank you so much for reading and for sticking with me, it means the world to me. This chapter is pretty long and gets NSFW at the end so be wary. As always, hope you enjoy it and I’d really love to hear what you think, it’s been a wild ride.


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